NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied: “Shingles.”
So she wrote down his name, address and phone number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse came out and asked the man what he had. The man said: “Shingles.”
So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. The man said: “Shingles.”
So the nurse gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found the man sitting patiently in the nude and asked him what he had.
The man said: “Shingles.”
The doctor asked: “Where are they?”
The man answered: “Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload them?”
 
Smart move. Dudes are experienced with unpredictable late season ice. The North knows there is a lot of gray area between the end of ice fishing season and the start of open water fishing season. Hybrid techniques get it done.

Humor element: I have legitimately seen the opposite of this done too: ice fishing tip ups set into the edge of an ice shelf and set up and accessed by boat when a flag goes up. Good when there is lots of both open water and ice still present.
 
A small zoo obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became
very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was
no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zookeeper thought of
Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible
for cleaning the animal cages.
Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed
ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zookeeper thought they might have a solution.
Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition.
Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest but said he would have
to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept their
offer, but only under five conditions:

"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips."
The Zookeeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", "She wears a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt."
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this."
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth", "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist."
Once again the keeper agreed.

"And last," Bobby Lee said,
"I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00
 
Smart move. Dudes are experienced with unpredictable late season ice. The North knows there is a lot of gray area between the end of ice fishing season and the start of open water fishing season. Hybrid techniques get it done.

Humor element: I have legitimately seen the opposite of this done too: ice fishing tip ups set into the edge of an ice shelf and set up and accessed by boat when a flag goes up. Good when there is lots of both open water and ice still present.

It’s a funny state.
People there bitch about the ice and snow.
It is freezing one day and shortly after it is hot and people are bitching about how long it is taking to get their docks in….
Funny fishing state though for sure.
SF
 
When people ask how long we've been married I always reply "52 years...60 if you figure in wind chill"

It's even better if my wife is around...because it will generate quite a 'stink-eye'...which sorta proves the point.

Feel free to use the joke at your own risk.
When we hit 50 years, at dinner I told friends "Sirhan Sirhan will be out before me". My wife said "Not if you say that again."
( Apparently, it wasn't as funny as I'd first thought...:rolleyes: )
 
son-how-do-i-catch-fish-dad-easy-just-throw-3119597.png
 
I had to look up Excel. I wasn't to sure what it meant. I'm still confused.
Let me put together a PowerPoint or Dashboard for you! Or watch my YouTube video.. or is it on Vimeo or Snapchat??
 
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