wanderingrichard
Life of the Party
Yep , sausage is a very serious thing there . So much so, that the Kielbasa family actually went into business making and marketing their namesake with the tag line "Our name Means Sausage" .
NFR Humor (No political jokes)
- Thread starter Buzzy
- Start date
Non-fishing related
MT_Flyfisher
Life of the Party
wanderingrichard
Life of the Party
I love his comments about Tesla owners.
cdnred
Life of the Party
Seniors think about things differently...
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.
* As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of .. it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
* Sorry I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
* Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
* Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think "That can't be accurate."
* I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
* Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words: defense, defeat, detail.
Student: When a horse jumps over defense, defeat go first and then detail.
* God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round...and laughed and laughed and laughed.
* I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
* Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.
* I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
* Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out "You have reached your final destination.
* My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
* Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling, and I'm still alive.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.
* As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of .. it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
* Sorry I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
* Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
* Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think "That can't be accurate."
* I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
* Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words: defense, defeat, detail.
Student: When a horse jumps over defense, defeat go first and then detail.
* God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round...and laughed and laughed and laughed.
* I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
* Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.
* I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
* Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out "You have reached your final destination.
* My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
* Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling, and I'm still alive.
Triploidjunkie
Life of the Party
A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
