the things kids say..

[SurfnFish]

bring them on, I'll start...

late 80's, 11 year old son a huge star wars fan...at the beach by our house, heavyset guy guy in trunks jogging on the sand, easily the hairest guy I've ever seen....son yells out at the top of his voice "look Dad, it's Chewbacca"...the entire beach cracked up, even the jogger started laughing

 

[mcswny]

bring them on, I'll start...

late 80's, 11 year old son a huge star wars fan...at the beach by our house, heavyset guy guy in trunks jogging on the sand, easily the hairest guy I've ever seen....son yells out at the top of his voice "look Dad, it's Chewbacca"...the entire beach cracked up, even the jogger started laughing

I’ve got a 4 year old. Half the shit she says is like this.

 

[Tom Butler]

I came running across the lawn yelling "daddy , the fire f_ck, daddy the fire f_ck". All the adults cracked up. That story seems to get told often.

 

[Matt B]

Kid in bath holding up finger: Daddy, what’s this?
Me: Where did it come from?
Kid: It came from my butt!

 

[Peyton00]

4 yr old granddaughter getting her ass wiped my my wife.
She asked "nonna.....how's everything going back there".

 

[Guy Gregory]

Grandson on short car ride, following me in my BMW Z3. I asked my soninlaw to let me know if my brake and turn signals were working. Grandson says: "I didn't know BMW's had turn signals.."

 

[Scudley Do Right]

Yesterday I was getting my son's pajamas on and folded up his little blanket. He told me he made me a taco. I asked what kind and he said "it's a poop taco" and started laughing manically.

 

[Jim F.]

I was feverishly packing for a business trip. My Daughter had climbed up on the bed and pleaded "Daddy, play with me!" I replied "Just as soon as I'm done packing, Sissy." She continued to plead; at one point I paused, grabbed her finger, put it in my mouth and said "Daddy's gonna eat your finger!" As I was zipping my suitcase shut, Katie asked: "Daddy, where did my booger go?"

 

[mcswny]

4 yr old granddaughter getting her ass wiped my my wife.
She asked "nonna.....how's everything going back there".

Pretty similar: I was wiping my kids butt and apparently used a bit to much pressure and she ran out to tell my wife “poppa went to deep with his hand in my butthole”

 

[wanderingrichard]

My now 8yro @ age 6: "An hour?! That's like a whole year!!"

 

[krusty]

Got a wonderful grandson (now a fine young man) who called woodpeckers 'pecker-woods' as a youngster.

My son, as a three year, could not pronounce 'C'...so cat came out as 'tat'. On a visit to a crowded fabric store with his mom he was stroking some artificial fur and loudly proclaimed that it was "soft as a titty".

 

[Bakerite]

Had a friend, another band teacher, who told me about a kid who asked to go to the bathroom during a pretty serious rehearsal. Answer is no and they all keep working. Ten minutes late hand is up again, and this time the student says, "Mr. W, the brown bear is peeking his nose out of the cave!". That was the end of any work....

 

[claude]

These kids comments wouldn't have made the Art Linkletter show. (Showing my age here)

 

[krusty]

These kids comments wouldn't have made the Art Linkletter show. (Showing my age here)

I remember it well. Groucho was able to pull off some pretty blue quips on his show.

Too bad blooper reels aren't available....I bet a few of those kids uttered some doozers back in rhe day.