Probably better man advice is recognizing things that will cause pain and learning and planning ways around or through them. A lack of maintenance causes inevitable pain.
I don't know that with a 21-year-old and 24-year-old you have a lot to maintain, as you put it, different stages of life, stages to try on some hats, see what you like and don't like.
For a kid about to graduate college it's an obvious time to want to break up, they want to reinvent themselves, have a chance to go someplace new. The grace there is letting them go and do it. At the same time, why be the only one with some doors opening?
I found with breakups the best thing to do for me was some kind of self-improvement, mostly through making sure I found something to keep my curiosity preoccupied, preferably in a way that would ultimately (meaning the process/labor is years, maybe even decades, maybe perhaps neverending) translate into money, autonomy, sense of self-worth, depression avoidance and so on. These are anti-pain resources/goals and they require work.
The kind of lady who has a similar mindset means the two of you are way more interesting and fun- financially, emotionally etc...
On the flip side if you have mood stuff going on and getting despondent, reach out to you providers, mood issues in the 20's can absolutely suck and seeking advice from a bunch of wise-ass fishermen is maybe not the greatest chorus to ask these questions....
