Jojo?
- Thread starter Roper
- Start date
Isn't Jojo...Jim Travers? 
Even a 'Like' to your post showing your concern would be good enough for me.
She'll say something when the time is rigjt....
joefromchicago
Steelhead
No.....Atlantic salmon.Isn't Jojo...Jim Travers?
joefromchicago
Steelhead
Wait a minute.....
Is this another missing-white-woman post?
Is this another missing-white-woman post?
Xoxo
…
Oh wow. Thanks all of Y’all. I know I’ve been quiet, which is why i purposely did post a like here and there in case someone thought i took leave. I haven’t had the time (or wherewithal) lately to add content.
And no….Nobody pissed me off @Old Man! Hahahaha.
But yeah, my plate is pretty full again lately, with the care of my parents, especially my difficult mom. I had to hide their landline phones in the house because my mom keeps talking to scammers…again. (My husband did get my dad’s burner phone reloaded.)
Luckily I’m a signer on all their financial stuff so i can check with their bank. I’ve already changed their number once but i will probably need to do it again. I told my dad to take all of her credit cards and checkbook out of her purse.
My dad is facing dialysis in the future and I’m taking to him appointment number 45 (i think…..) next week. I’m worn out and not sleeping again and just not very good company lately. The weather does not help at all.
Aside from calls about my dad’s health i was dealing with finalizing my Medicare stuff and being on hold for what probably amounts to a dozens of hours in the past few weeks. i hit a wall over a week ago and called my one estranged brother in tears (and I am so not a person who cries in front of my family) . He listened and said he will be talking to my other brother and has assured me they will get better. My husband is a big help with Costco shopping for them when I can‘t , and he takes my parents to some appointments that don’t require the medical background info I have for doctors.
I can no longer run ( which like the weather , doesn’t help), but I have started walking alone lately four times a week, for at least an hour, listening to music or a podcast. That does help. It will get better. My husband is retired next month and my one brother retires in August.
When i have a free day i protect it so tightly that even if Brad Pitt wanted to take me out for wine and dinner I would say no. Thank you for caring enough to check up on me @Roper and thanks y’all for allowing me to vent a bit.
Bruce Baker
Life of the Party
I can relate to some of the stuff you're going through @Jojo. As a care giver, please make sure that you put your well being first. My dad did not do that as my mom's condition worsened and he paid the price. If you need to be quiet, then be quiet
Glad to hear you are okay and my thoughts are with you and your family. Thanks for sharing, and rant any time you feel like it.
‘I hear you, Jojo’. I’m out in Vermont, again, helping my dad through his second round of chemo. Being a caregiver can be daunting and draining. I wish you well.
Mike d
@Bruce Baker and @M_D are correct. Take care of yourself. @Jojo the better you take care of yourself the better you can take care of others. It is a very hard job to take care of others. My wife helped my MIL take care of her father for a number of years by giving her mother breaks and just helping out.
I can not think of a better or more caring person than you. Your parents are very fortunate for sure! Good luck and enjoy the times you do have with them in the future. They are special times for sure...
I can not think of a better or more caring person than you. Your parents are very fortunate for sure! Good luck and enjoy the times you do have with them in the future. They are special times for sure...
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Jim Allen
Steelhead
Jojo not knowing you, but after reading your post....You are one awesome person, wife, daughter, caretaker, chauffeur, planner, scheduler, fly fisher and that just covers the basics. It not easy but paying it back for those who have cared for us is a noble task. I am in awe and wish you a blessed mother day.
We were close to a wellness check
Watching your parents need care and the light fade out of them as they age sucks big time.
Best of luck to all that are going through it and kudos for taking care of your folks.
SF
Best of luck to all that are going through it and kudos for taking care of your folks.
SF
Your parents are fortunate to have you helping them. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself too!
Thanks for sharing your current situation. Thanks to your hubby.
Thanks for sharing your current situation. Thanks to your hubby.
Xoxo
…
Oh wow. Amazing. I log here and see I have 42 notifications which is by far a record for me.
Thanks all of you for the words of support. I appreciate also that you just let me vent with trying to give me lots of stuff i could be doing differently. Sometimes venting is a release. I made up this saying: “Voice it, then Ice it”. I’m working on the ‘ice it“ part. But it’s hard.
However in the spirit of honestly, I need to point out that I feel it’s fairly clear I am working under, not only some duress, but with a great deal of resentment, so I am not the selfless generous daughter deserving of anything resembling high praise. I have some pretty deep seeded resentment these past three years.
My dad and I get along great. He is sharp, still works hard as much as he can around the house and does everything. He is easy to be with, and very generous. He always remembers to ask others questions about what’s going on with them. I’ve notice lots of older people seldom ask people about their lives and mostly talk about themselves. He is not like that.
My mom is a different story. She and I have never gotten along. (My sister didn’t get along with her either.)
Having to see her so much and do for her does NOT make me feel good about myself. On the contrary, i mostly go home feeling like a total bitch because i do not put up with her crap. It’s not all dementia either. She has all our lives
been an irrational , embarrassing, lazy and unsupportive mother who often humiliated us and always made everything harder for everyone, especially my dad and me. No one wants to be around her that much and it’s why i don’t have as much family help. (Though that is finally starting to change for me.)
I hate that this has made me feel differently about my brothers too and i hope i can get that back as I’ve always liked them before. So please understand that I’m not pure of heart and soul doing this. Not at all.
But i am going to get better about asking for help with the upcoming retirements of my brother and husband. And talking it out helps me process. Doing good deeds for folks should be done with goodness. I’ll have to work on that but right now i just want to be mad for awhile. So yeah. I feel pretty bitchy. And hence, not that much fun to be around.
Thanks again y’all. — jo
Thanks all of you for the words of support. I appreciate also that you just let me vent with trying to give me lots of stuff i could be doing differently. Sometimes venting is a release. I made up this saying: “Voice it, then Ice it”. I’m working on the ‘ice it“ part. But it’s hard.
However in the spirit of honestly, I need to point out that I feel it’s fairly clear I am working under, not only some duress, but with a great deal of resentment, so I am not the selfless generous daughter deserving of anything resembling high praise. I have some pretty deep seeded resentment these past three years.
My dad and I get along great. He is sharp, still works hard as much as he can around the house and does everything. He is easy to be with, and very generous. He always remembers to ask others questions about what’s going on with them. I’ve notice lots of older people seldom ask people about their lives and mostly talk about themselves. He is not like that.
My mom is a different story. She and I have never gotten along. (My sister didn’t get along with her either.)
Having to see her so much and do for her does NOT make me feel good about myself. On the contrary, i mostly go home feeling like a total bitch because i do not put up with her crap. It’s not all dementia either. She has all our lives
been an irrational , embarrassing, lazy and unsupportive mother who often humiliated us and always made everything harder for everyone, especially my dad and me. No one wants to be around her that much and it’s why i don’t have as much family help. (Though that is finally starting to change for me.)
I hate that this has made me feel differently about my brothers too and i hope i can get that back as I’ve always liked them before. So please understand that I’m not pure of heart and soul doing this. Not at all.
But i am going to get better about asking for help with the upcoming retirements of my brother and husband. And talking it out helps me process. Doing good deeds for folks should be done with goodness. I’ll have to work on that but right now i just want to be mad for awhile. So yeah. I feel pretty bitchy. And hence, not that much fun to be around.
Thanks again y’all. — jo