NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”

Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.

"One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.
 
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