Here's one I remember from the Prairie Home Companion a long, long time ago. Clearly an artifact from a different era, no one that I've re-told it to has been terribly offended.
A wealthy executive is in Hawaii teaching his beautiful young second wife - formerly his secretary - how to golf on their honeymoon after she'd managed to extricate him from his previous marriage. He starts off with a decent drive that only goes a few feet into the rough, but his new wife hooks one off the tee and it goes straight through a *massive* bay window of a very expensive looking home. As they approach they hear what sounds like a man groaning in pain, and when they look in the window they see an older gentleman in silk pyjamas lying on the floor rubbing his head, and a broken Arabian vase lying next to him on the ground.
The back door is open, so they decide they'd better go in and check on the man. As they approach him he sizes them up in his gaze for a moment while they start to apologize profusely, then he holds up his hand as though to hush them and begins to speak.
"No, no, no - please do not apologize. Although I appear before you in what looks like modern attire, I'm...actually a genie. I was trapped in that vase by an evil prince hundreds of years ago, and you have finally released me. As an expression of my gratitude, I'm prepared to offer the two of you three wishes. There is only one condition, in order to be freed from the curse and granted the power to grant wishes, I must find a woman who will sleep with me - of her own volition, of course - within 15 minutes of being released from the confines of the vase which has held me for so many centuries."
The pair glanced at him quizzically and then at one another. "Anything?" they ask. "Yes. Anything. Whatever you desire. However, as I said, my powers will only grant me the ability to grant three wishes, and you must ask quickly." The two briefly stepped away to discuss the matter, then returned with their answer. "Normally we wouldn't dream of doing this, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that we can't pass up. We accept your terms."
The genie nodded somberly, praised the wisdom of their decision, and said. "Very well. And what are your wishes?" The husband went first. "A billion dollars." "Very well. When you survey your wealth tomorrow morning, you shall find one billion of your 'dollars' in your bank account." The wife went next, and as she and her husband had agreed, she'd get the final two choices. "First - I want eternal youth and beauty. " "Very well, it shall be granted. A thousand centuries will pass, and even the Great Pyramids shall crumble, but your beauty shall never falter." "Nice. Next, I want an infinite wardrobe. I want a walk-in closet that'll contain any outfit that I desire every time I step into it, and it'll have to fit perfectly, every time." The genie nodded somberly and said. "It shall be done. Now, I beg of you we must hurry. Time is of the essence, or the curse will return."
After they'd settled on the terms, they hustled upstairs to complete the transaction while the husband was calling his banker telling him to expect a substantial deposit the following morning. Soon after the genie spoke "My lady, you are so young and beautiful - so many decades younger indeed than your husband. May I ask how many years he has? "Yeah. Sure. He's 78."
"78 years old, and he still believes in genies...."
