NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're assigned to hell."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they’ve got air-conditioning and flush toilets, escalators, elevators and so on ... and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan on the telephone.

"So, how's it going down there in hell?" God says.

"Hey, things are going great. We've got air-conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. There's no telling what our engineer is going to come up with next!" Satan says.

"What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should have never gotten down there. Send him back immediately!" God says.

"No way! I like having an engineer on the staff — I'm keeping him!" Satan says.

"Send him back up here or I'll sue!" God says.

Satan laughs uproariously and answers:

"Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
 
Yesterday, my daughter emailed me, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

"Like sitting around the pool, drinking wine isn't a good thing?" I asked. Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.

She is "only thinking of me," she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellas.

So, I did and when I got home, I decided to play a prank on her.
I sent her an email saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club. She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 75-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?”

I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled; "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club.”

"Oh man, am I in trouble?" I said; "I signed up and prepaid for three jumps a week! ...THE LINE WENT DEAD.

Life as a Senior Citizen may not be getting any easier, but it can be fun.
 
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