NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
Thanks for Flushing Our Business Down the Drain
A Flush Beats a Full House.
 
What other funny portable toilet slogans have y'all seen?
One that comes to mind is "Number one in the number two business"
Never saw this but always thought Roto-Rooter should use it:
"Your crap is our bread and butter."
 
A man and a woman who had never met found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train trip. Although reluctant and embarrassed, they were both exhausted and each retired to their bunks, he on the upper and she below.

At about 1:00 in the morning, he leaned over and said, “I’m sorry to wake you, but I’m very cold. Could you go to the closet and hand me another blanket?”

“I have a better idea” she quietly replied. “Just for tonight, why don’t we pretend we’re married?”

He quickly replied, “That’s a great idea!”

She said, “Great - then get your own damn blanket.”

After a moment’s silence, he loudly farted.
 
A guy is sitting in a bar and there two women sitting across from him. He listens for a bit and says, "I love your accents ladies. Are you two from Scotland '?
One stands up not Scotland you idiot..we are Wales!
So, I said, "Ok, You two whales from Scotland? I don't remember much after that.
 
An old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and
I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting
divorced!" and calls her father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do
another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then,
don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.
The old man turns to his wife and says "Okay, they’re coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares."
 
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