NFR Humor (No political jokes)

[Merle]

One I heard recently:

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
A: With a porcupine, the prick is on the outside.

Love that one- I heard it many years ago from a Porsche mechanic.

 

[joefromchicago]

Love that one- I heard it many years ago from a Porsche mechanic.

Have you ever watched 'Ford vs. Ferrari', especially that scene between Ken Miles and an irate customer? A dead on depiction of such.

 

[joefromchicago]

This one makes me chuckle:

No matter how big and bad you are, when a two year old hands you a toy phone, you answer it.

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[Mossback]

 

[joefromchicago]

View attachment 74448

Aaaaaaaand the latest:

I'd like to tell you who Abel's brother is, but I don't think I Cain.

 

[joefromchicago]

Told this one to a lady whose hubby was named Michael Jackson and she loved it.

Q: What does Michael Jackson like about twenty-five year olds?

A: There's twenty of them.

 

[Rainforest Gump]

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

View attachment 74538

Yeah well, I surely am appalled and thunderstruck!

 

[Zak]

 

[Zak]

 

[bobduck]

Told this one to a lady whose hubby was named Michael Jackson and she loved it.

Q: What does Michael Jackson like about twenty-five year olds?

A: There's twenty of them.

how did Michael Jackson know when it was bedtime? When the big hand was on the little hand.

 

[Mukman]

Someone stole my anti-depressant pills.

I hope they’re happy.

 

[Mukman]

I was standing in line to see Oppenheimer around lunchtime, but realized it was three hours long, and I was starving.

So, I went to the Barbie queue instead.

 

[Stonedfish]

 

[joefromchicago]

I like progressive music, but it is often perceived as lacking a sense of humor. Two good examples of prog humor.
"Prog is like a horse colliding with a nun. It's a terrible thing to behold but you'll be telling all your (friends) about it for years to come." Simon Godfrey

On the British often prickly nature towards music.
"The British hate music but they love the sound it makes." Unknown

 

[Herkileez]

I like progressive music, but it is often perceived as lacking a sense of humor. Two good examples of prog humor.
"Prog is like a horse colliding with a nun. It's a terrible thing to behold but you'll be telling all your (friends) about it for years to come." Simon Godfrey

On the British often prickly nature towards music.
"The British hate music but they love the sound it makes." Unknown

You said "nun"....reminds me of the type of groaner i would tell my kids: Hear about the old nun with a wooden leg/cowboy hero? : Hopalong Chastity.

 

[Herkileez]

You said "nun"....reminds me of the type of groaner i would tell my kids: Hear about the old nun with a wooden leg/cowboy hero? : Hopalong Chastity.

Have to be "vintage" age to get that one.

 

[Billy]

 

[Billy]