NFR Humor (No political jokes)

[joefromchicago]

View attachment 73416

Hey, if "fear my powerful emojis" is a 'The Martian' reference I love that book/movie too.

What he really said (in the book) when Vincent Kapoor mused "I wonder what he's thinking right now?"

"How can Aquaman control the whales? They're mammals not fish! That doesn't make any sense!"

 

[Kfish]

 

[Rainforest Gump]

 

[Mukman]

Interviewer: “What would you say is your greatest weakness?”

Interviewee: “I’m too honest.”

Interviewer: “I don’t think that’s really a weakness.”

Interviewee: “Well, I don’t give a f*** about what you think.

 

[Shawn Seeger]

Cancer Humor...

Doctor sends you a not... and for the first time in my life I wasn't offended (actually overjoyed) by a stranger using the term Gross and Unremarkable when describing parts of you! "Your lungs are Grossly Clear and your Abdomen and Pelvis are Unremarkable."

So I am happy to be Gross and Unremarkable!

Hahaha

 

[joefromchicago]

My Superman joke (and it's evolution):
Q: What's Superman's greatest superpower?
A: That he could disguise himself with just a pair of glasses; imaging a scenario where he loses his glasses in a crowd and everyone has a "WTF, it's Superman!" moment. Because, anyone who wears glasses knows they are coming off at some point.
But then, I thought, what if he invented glasses that don't fall off? Wait a minute, if so, would that be his  second greatest superpower?
Also imagined, since he doesn't need them, he forgets to take them off and rolls over in his sleep and crushes them,


Every night.

 

[iggie]

Don't quit your day job.

 

[Mossback]

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[joefromchicago]

Don't quit your day job.

O.K., just as long as you don't think I care about your opinion.

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

My Superman joke (and it's evolution):
Q: What's Superman's greatest superpower?
A: That he could disguise himself with just a pair of glasses; imaging a scenario where he loses his glasses in a crowd and everyone has a "WTF, it's Superman!" moment. Because, anyone who wears glasses knows they are coming off at some point.
But then, I thought, what if he invented glasses that don't fall off? Wait a minute, if so, would that be his  second greatest superpower?
Also imagined, since he doesn't need them, he forgets to take them off and rolls over in his sleep and crushes them,


Every night.

As an empathyst I award you a like, based on the “every night”

 

[Shawn Seeger]

This one's for you @Billy

 

[Trout Trekker]

 

[joefromchicago]

This one's for you @Billy

View attachment 73837

What do you call a chicken that doesn't lay eggs anymore?

An eight piece bucket.

 

[joefromchicago]

As an empathyst I award you a like, based on the “every night”

Humorless bastiches, here's more:

When thinking about Superman sleeping I wondered "Does he even sleep?". If he doesn't, that must have been hard on Lois Lane when they were married.

Then I thought about being hard on Lois and, well......

 

[DimeBrite]

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

Humorless bastiches, here's more:

When thinking about Superman sleeping I wondered "Does he even sleep?". If he doesn't, that must have been hard on Lois Lane when they were married.

Then I thought about being hard on Lois and, well......

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[Dave Boyle]

 

[Zak]