NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
I had an interesting imbedded hook incident. A #12 200r nymph hook that imbedded into my eyebrow. I was in a coastal stream fishing for searuns. I was 30 minutes from my truck and 90 minutes from home. Wife was still at work. So I high tailed it home with a deeply imbedded hook to the eye in eyebrow. Hurt a lot when trying to remove it. Grabbed ice fromfreezer numbed it … needle nose pliers pushed it through as far as i could whimpering a bit in the process and clipped the tip with barb off. It was swell. Then the wife unit came home.
 
Ran a size 8 bait holder through that flap of skin between the thumb and index finger this spring. Grandson asked if we had to go home. My exacts words were, no ...............
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Yup , had a size 8 in my forearm , just pushed in on thru to expose the barb , pinched it down , and pulled it back out . No ice required . :)
Me too when selecting old 12x12” white washed reclaim timbers for a resaw project - crawling around on a pile of them which were from a Fort Vancouver Barracks demolition… slid across felt a pinch of a cedar splinter inoculation and ended up at Kaiser emergency to have a 5” to 6” splinter in my thigh. Then and ever since ican get an allergic reaction to cedar…
 
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Another thing I can't see nor open.
 
One of my first experiences with my wife’s step mother was her asking me to bbq burgers and her giving me a list of rare, medium rare etc etc. but then handing me a bag of flat frozen Costco burgers.

“Mam, there’s only 1 way to cook these.”
One time long ago I was cooking 3 meals a day outside for 7 Navajo/Dine grandmas and their families (we were all in Phoenix for a big court case and I was with a group that provided support for Dine families on Big Mountain).

They had brought a couple slaughtered processed goats and I was to cook the meat on grates over an open fire. I asked one of the sons how I should cook it and he looked at me like I was crazy and said "Cook the shit out of it."

I also got really good at making fry bread!
 
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