NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
Will I Live to see 85???

(Here's something to think about.)
After having to choose a new primary care doctor, I was curious.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am north of 70).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'
She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.........
She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a shit?
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Scottish Brothel

The madam opened the brothel door in Milngavie and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Suzy."

"Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies

Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Suzy."

Just then, Suzy appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Suzy.

Suzy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

"There are no discounts.. The price is still £5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Suzy and they went upstairs.

After their session, Suzy said to the man,
"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.
Where are you from?"

The man replied, " Edinburgh."

"Really," she said.

"I have family in Edinburgh .."

"I know." the man said..

"Your sister died, and I am her Lawyer
She asked me to give you your £15,000 inheritance."


The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer!
 
I was at the doctor's office and asked my doctor about how long I have left. I was 81 at the time. He told me about 85. I'm now 87 but don't feel like it. Only my legs let me know about it. But when I exercise them the pain goes away. Any way age is just a number. My dads mother live into her 90's. I've out lived both of my parents. They were both passed before my age.
 
I still have (& use) those drafting tools, and a 60” drafting table, buried under fly tying paraphernalia (further buried by subsequent detritus). Was never very good with a slide rule, but I wrote some killer (short but adept)
surveying programs for the HP-41 in the late 70s early 80s. Gave me a serious advantage in the field for quite awhile. Still the greatest calculator ever made.
 
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