NFR Humor (No political jokes)
- Thread starter Buzzy
- Start date
Non-fishing related
Fourbtgait
Life of the Party
Fourbtgait
Life of the Party
I forwarded this to a buddy and he responded it doesn’t work, I don’t see anything…. I waited, he got it. I’ll be teasing him for yrs
Dave
Rainforest Gump
Life of the Party
Capt Insano Emeritis
Legend
“You’re traveling through another dimension not only of sight and sounds
But of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination.
Next stop, the Curmudgeon Zone.”
(After Rod Serling) December 6, 2024
But of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination.
Next stop, the Curmudgeon Zone.”
(After Rod Serling) December 6, 2024
Capt Insano Emeritis
Legend
Would like to see one for our royalty on this side of the Atlantic… pause… no I wouldn’t.
Running low on material, eh?
FinLuver
Native Oregonian…1846
Oregonians on the wet side set our rain calendars to nine months.
Capt Insano Emeritis
Legend
Below, enjoy Hunter Thompson’s transcript of his late-night business proposition to Bill Murray:
BILL: “Hello?”
HST: “Hi, Bill, it’s Hunter.”
BILL: “Hi, Hunter.”
HST: “Are you ready for a powerful idea? I want to ask you about golf in Japan. I understand they’re building vertical driving ranges on top of each other.”
BILL (sounding strangely alert): “Yes, they have them outdoors, under roofs …”
HST: “I’ve seen pictures. I thought they looked like bowling alleys stacked on top of each other.”
BILL: (Laughs.)
HST: “I’m working on a profoundly goofy story here. It’s wonderful. I’ve invented a new sport. It’s called Shotgun Golf. We will rule the world with this thing.”
BILL: “Mmhmm.”
HST: “I’ve called you for some consulting advice on how to launch it. We’ve actually already launched it. Last spring, the Sheriff and I played a game outside in the yard here. He had my Ping Beryllium 9-iron, and I had his shotgun, and about 100 yards away, we had a linoleum green and a flag set up. He was pitching toward the green. And I was standing about 10 feet away from him, with the alley-sweeper. And my objective was to blow his ball off course, like a clay pigeon.”
BILL: (Laughs.)
HST: “It didn’t work at first. The birdshot I was using was too small. But double-aught buck finally worked for sure. And it was fun.”
BILL: (Chuckles.)
HST: “OK, I didn’t want to wake you up, but I knew you’d want to be in on the ground floor of this thing.”
BILL: (Silence.)
HST: “Do you want to discuss this tomorrow?”
BILL: “Sure.”
HST: “Excellent.”
BILL: “I think I might have a queer dream about it now, but …” (Laughs.)
HST: “This sport has a HUGE future. Golf in America will soon come to this.”
BILL: “It will bring a whole new meaning to the words ‘Driving Range’.”
HST: “Especially when you stack them on top of each other. I’ve seen it in Japan.”
BILL: “They definitely have multi-level driving ranges. Yes.”
HST: (Laughs.) “How does that work? Do they have extremely high ceilings?”
BILL: “No. The roof above your tee only projects out about 10 feet, and they have another range right above you. It’s like they took the façade off a building. People would be hanging out of their offices.”
HST: “I see. It’s like one of those original Hyatt Regency Hotels. Like an atrium. In the middle of the building you could jump straight down into the lobby?”
BILL: “Exactly like that!”
HST: “It’s like people driving balls from one balcony to the next.”
BILL: (Laughs.) “Yes, they could.”
HST: “I could be on the eighth floor and you on the sixth? Or on the fifteenth. And we’d be driving across a lake.”
BILL: “They have flags out every 150 yards, every 200 yards, every 250 yards. It’s just whether you are hitting it at ground level, or from five stories up.”
HST: “I want to find out more about this. This definitely has a future to it.”
BILL: “They have one here in the city — down at Chelsea Pier.”
HST: “You must have played a lot of golf in Japan.”
BILL: “Not much; I just had one really great day of golf. I worked most of the time. But I did play one beautiful golf course. They have seasonal greens, two different types of grass. It’s really beautiful.”
HST: “Well, I’m writing a column for ESPN.com and I want to know if you like my new golf idea. A two-man team.”
BILL: “Well, with all safety in mind, yes. Two-man team? Yeah! That sounds great. I think it would create a whole new look. It would create a whole new clothing line.”
HST: “Absolutely. You’ll need a whole new wardrobe for this game.”
BILL: “Shooting glasses and everything.”
HST: “We’ll obviously have to make a movie. This will mushroom or mutate — either way — into a real craze. And given the mood of this country, being that a lot of people in the mood to play golf are also in the mood to shoot something, I think it would take off like a gigantic fad.”
BILL: “I think the two-man team idea would be wonderful competition and is something the Ryder Cup would pick up on.”
HST: “I was talking with the Sheriff about it earlier. But in one-man competition, I’d have to compete against you, say, in both of the arts — the shooting AND the golfing. But if you do the Ryder Cup, you’d have to have the clothing line first. I’m going to write about this for ESPN tonight. I’m naming you and the Sheriff as the founding consultants.”
BILL: “Sounds good.”
HST: “OK, I’ll call you tomorrow. And by the way, I’ll see if I can twist some arms and get you an Oscar. But I want a Nobel Prize in return.”
BILL: “Well, we can work together on this. This is definitely a team challenge.” (Laughing.)
HST: “OK. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
BILL: “Good night
BILL: “Hello?”
HST: “Hi, Bill, it’s Hunter.”
BILL: “Hi, Hunter.”
HST: “Are you ready for a powerful idea? I want to ask you about golf in Japan. I understand they’re building vertical driving ranges on top of each other.”
BILL (sounding strangely alert): “Yes, they have them outdoors, under roofs …”
HST: “I’ve seen pictures. I thought they looked like bowling alleys stacked on top of each other.”
BILL: (Laughs.)
HST: “I’m working on a profoundly goofy story here. It’s wonderful. I’ve invented a new sport. It’s called Shotgun Golf. We will rule the world with this thing.”
BILL: “Mmhmm.”
HST: “I’ve called you for some consulting advice on how to launch it. We’ve actually already launched it. Last spring, the Sheriff and I played a game outside in the yard here. He had my Ping Beryllium 9-iron, and I had his shotgun, and about 100 yards away, we had a linoleum green and a flag set up. He was pitching toward the green. And I was standing about 10 feet away from him, with the alley-sweeper. And my objective was to blow his ball off course, like a clay pigeon.”
BILL: (Laughs.)
HST: “It didn’t work at first. The birdshot I was using was too small. But double-aught buck finally worked for sure. And it was fun.”
BILL: (Chuckles.)
HST: “OK, I didn’t want to wake you up, but I knew you’d want to be in on the ground floor of this thing.”
BILL: (Silence.)
HST: “Do you want to discuss this tomorrow?”
BILL: “Sure.”
HST: “Excellent.”
BILL: “I think I might have a queer dream about it now, but …” (Laughs.)
HST: “This sport has a HUGE future. Golf in America will soon come to this.”
BILL: “It will bring a whole new meaning to the words ‘Driving Range’.”
HST: “Especially when you stack them on top of each other. I’ve seen it in Japan.”
BILL: “They definitely have multi-level driving ranges. Yes.”
HST: (Laughs.) “How does that work? Do they have extremely high ceilings?”
BILL: “No. The roof above your tee only projects out about 10 feet, and they have another range right above you. It’s like they took the façade off a building. People would be hanging out of their offices.”
HST: “I see. It’s like one of those original Hyatt Regency Hotels. Like an atrium. In the middle of the building you could jump straight down into the lobby?”
BILL: “Exactly like that!”
HST: “It’s like people driving balls from one balcony to the next.”
BILL: (Laughs.) “Yes, they could.”
HST: “I could be on the eighth floor and you on the sixth? Or on the fifteenth. And we’d be driving across a lake.”
BILL: “They have flags out every 150 yards, every 200 yards, every 250 yards. It’s just whether you are hitting it at ground level, or from five stories up.”
HST: “I want to find out more about this. This definitely has a future to it.”
BILL: “They have one here in the city — down at Chelsea Pier.”
HST: “You must have played a lot of golf in Japan.”
BILL: “Not much; I just had one really great day of golf. I worked most of the time. But I did play one beautiful golf course. They have seasonal greens, two different types of grass. It’s really beautiful.”
HST: “Well, I’m writing a column for ESPN.com and I want to know if you like my new golf idea. A two-man team.”
BILL: “Well, with all safety in mind, yes. Two-man team? Yeah! That sounds great. I think it would create a whole new look. It would create a whole new clothing line.”
HST: “Absolutely. You’ll need a whole new wardrobe for this game.”
BILL: “Shooting glasses and everything.”
HST: “We’ll obviously have to make a movie. This will mushroom or mutate — either way — into a real craze. And given the mood of this country, being that a lot of people in the mood to play golf are also in the mood to shoot something, I think it would take off like a gigantic fad.”
BILL: “I think the two-man team idea would be wonderful competition and is something the Ryder Cup would pick up on.”
HST: “I was talking with the Sheriff about it earlier. But in one-man competition, I’d have to compete against you, say, in both of the arts — the shooting AND the golfing. But if you do the Ryder Cup, you’d have to have the clothing line first. I’m going to write about this for ESPN tonight. I’m naming you and the Sheriff as the founding consultants.”
BILL: “Sounds good.”
HST: “OK, I’ll call you tomorrow. And by the way, I’ll see if I can twist some arms and get you an Oscar. But I want a Nobel Prize in return.”
BILL: “Well, we can work together on this. This is definitely a team challenge.” (Laughing.)
HST: “OK. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
BILL: “Good night
Capt Insano Emeritis
Legend
Bat country
Capt Insano Emeritis
Legend
Fourbtgait
Life of the Party
Rainforest Gump
Life of the Party
decorations for electric trucks !
