NFR Humor (No political jokes)

[Mukman]

A shop assistant has fiercely fought off an armed robber with her labeling gun.

Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.

 

[Mossback]

 

[Mukman]

The swordfish has few natural predators, except for the rare penfish, which is mightier.

 

[Kado]

A shop assistant has fiercely fought off an armed robber with her labeling gun.

Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.

Okay....got a chuckle out of my daughter, and that's saying something.

 

[Stonedfish]

 

[joefromchicago]

Seen on t-shirt:

I gotta see the candy first
Then I get in the van

I'm not stupid

 

[Mukman]

A reporter asked Micheal Jordan if he thought the 90’s Bulls could beat LeBron’s Lakers.

Jordan: “Yes.”
Reporter: “By how much?”
Jordan: “2 or 3 points”
Reporter: “Why so close?”
Jordan: “Because most of us are almost 60 now.”

 

[Smokey Bear]

 

[Mukman]

I wanted to re-marry my ex wife.

But she found out I was only after my money.

 

[Clean Willy]

 

[Mukman]

There was a time you could walk into a grocery store with $2.00 and walk out with a gallon of milk, a pound of butter and a loaf of bread.

Now they have cameras all over the place.

 

[Clean Willy]

I was engaged to a nymphomaniac.

That changed into just a maniac after our wedding day.

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[Mukman]

Doctor: “I’m afraid that you’re suffering from a very rare condition.”

Patient: “What is it called?”

Doctor: “What do you want it to be called?”

 

[Mossback]

 

[Jim in Anacortes]

I asked my pharmacist what he could give me "over the counter" for memory loss...he handed me a note pad and a pen.

 

[Dave Boyle]

 

[Stonedfish]

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

View attachment 116833

Said a pair of orthodox half-sours

 

[Mukman]

A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at a tree and the tree shouted “Wait! I’m a talking tree!!”

The lumberjack grinned and said, “And you will dialogue”.