Sorry to hijack the thread, but I have some questions of my own.
For folks with kids, do you actually need a big car? When I was growing up, all we had was a Mitsubishi Lancer and a Hyundai Excel. My wife wants a 7 seater "because we have a family now". My thinking is that will be a pain in the ass to drive day-to-day and we will rarely need that many seats. Would it be a stupid idea to just get another small-to-medium sized car and just drive two cars, when we need extra capacity?
Our last hybrid was free, so we never had to do the math before. I'm struggling to justify the extra expense of a hybrid, PHEV or EV. Is there some kind of calculator that can help figure out if you'll ever recoup the cost?
I think that it depends upon you and your kids. I really never needed a big car. My family is small in stature and size. The 3 women that live with are a combined weight of 360 lbs.
One played travel soccer but even with the bag and another player we never really needed a big car. Often big cars are more about status or anxiety than function IMO.
Old man rant:
When you have small kids, most wives pack far too much. A grazing unit containing a man and a child will require about 1/4 the amount of stuff that a mother / child GU does. The stroller was the thing that drove me bat shit crazy. I had a small back pack, no need for a big ass stroller. I was 220 lbs at the time and my wife was 105lbs. The stroller was helpful to her. I never needed it or wanted it. I was responsible for getting it in and out of the car etc. Add to that the exorbitant amount of clothing, diapers, cleaning supplies, toys (a child NEEDS only 1), self contained child fences etc. and she may want you to actually drive a semi. None of it is actually needed in the amounts that you will bring but it will make her feel like it's all handled and she is doing her job. She is not , because her job is to defer to the person who isn't emotionally tied to making random people think that she is doing a good job.
Meanwhile, there may be no room for the cooler of beer which is, of course, the only necessity on any family trip. Honestly, most new mothers feel so much pressure that they compensate by being over ready and over pack for everything. I wish we were able to ease the constant anxiety that they feel because it can ruin lives (not an actual joke). The minimum standard is to keep the child alive, not to have a perfect family trip. There are no perfect family trips. She married and reproduced with an asshole (in my case). Most of both families are assholes and more diapers ain't gonna fix that. So tell your aunt to shut the fuck up and stop being judgmental because her little boy is 14 and is a porn addict so that's where her form of parenting will get you.
We ended up getting a 96 volvo wagon for my wife to drive because it was a safe and big and we could afford it. It was a fantastic purchase. It guzzled gas like grain down a foie gras ducks throat. However, it paid itself of in a reduction in subsequent counselling copays. My Subaru was more than large enough for the 4 of us and all the gear to go anywhere provided we did not have to bring the child corral.
As far as the electric vs. gas goes. It may be a new vs. used question at it's heart. I do not know how long your commute is. I have contemplated buying a used Bolt or similar. I have a short commute and it could easily do it even on a 50% battery or less. The older electrics are pretty cheap and honestly, I do not need much to commute in.
The last thing that I will say is that big vehicles like SUV's are often very poor in bad conditions and therefore pretty dangerous. Even my wifes volvo was awful in the snow and she would take my Suby if she had the kids. It was safer than that role cage with wheels because no accident= no danger.