Chuck Norris passed away at 86

RIP.

....Probably too soon for a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes.... although, it has been said that he got a kick (pun intended) out of those jokes.
 
Well....alright. Since the ice is broken...

Chuck Norris was in all of the Star Wars movies. He was The Force.

Most men pee their names into the snow. Chuck peed his into concrete.

Chuck could kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck once killed 10 people with a hand grenade. He killed 20 more when it went off.

Chuck once pissed into the fuel tank of a semi truck. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck could clog a toilet with his piss.

Chuck Norris could speak braille.
 
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Chuck was orphaned at the tender age of 12. He was sent to live in a convent in the south of France. His first week there, he impregnated every nun in the place. The resulting offspring became the 1972/73 Miami Dolphins - The only NFL team to ever play a perfect season.
 
Chuck could impregnate a woman by pointing at her uterus and yelling "BOO YAHHH".

He could also pop a wheelie on a unicycle.
 
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Dude, what a life. From a dirt poor Oklahoma Rez kid to a world renowned martial artist and philanthropist.

Went to bed last night seeing the announcement that he'd had an unexpected medical emergency in Kuai (sic). Wake up and he's gone.
 
Chuck CAN believe it's not butter.

He created the giraffe by upercutting a horse.

He has a bearskin rug in his living room. It's still alive, just too afraid to move.

He was the world's largest blood donor...but none of it was his.

When his daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.

Jesus could walk on water. Chuck could swim through land.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he already had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris could dribble a bowling ball.
 
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It's true Chuck Norris died, but so did all the Doctors and Nurses who tried to get that IV in....
 
There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris. If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.”~ Chuck Norris (1940-2026)
 
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