Thank you for your service question.

Rob Allen · Oct 18, 2023

In my work I come into contact with veterans and I always thank them for their service and I mean it but it feels kinda trite and mundane. I want to ask them about their service but it's none of my business and they may not want to talk about it.
So I guess what I am asking is how in my daily work can I make veterans know they are more appreciated than just what amounts to a pleasantly or is a thank you as much as I can do?

Thanks.

PS.. couldn't get the prefix NFR to come up on my phone.

Evan B · Oct 18, 2023

Totally anecdotal, so please take this with a grain of salt:

The military/vets that are in my friend circles actually don't like it when folks do this. Their attitude is "I was just doing a job. I got paid. There's nothing remarkable about what I did." (summarized obviously).

Not everyone may feel like that, the older generations especially would be my guess.

Don't feel like you need to force this in to your conversations from my experience.

RCF · Oct 18, 2023

Interesting question. Lots of veterans on this site. I hope some will provide their POV. Maybe @Jerry Daschofsky will provide his POV with all his experience...

Hillbilly Redneck · Oct 18, 2023

USMC
u signed the motherfuckin contract
I wasn't like I was drafted. Just an idiot. Your welcome!

NukeLDO · Oct 18, 2023

USN 26 years and I don't mind being thanked or asked questions about what I did and where I did it. (can't always say where I did it though)

mattsavage · Oct 18, 2023

Evan B said:
Totally anecdotal, so please take this with a grain of salt:

The military/vets that are in my friend circles actually don't like it when folks do this. Their attitude is "I was just doing a job. I got paid. There's nothing remarkable about what I did." (summarized obviously).

Not everyone may feel like that, the older generations especially would be my guess.

Don't feel like you need to force this in to your conversations from my experience.

Agreed. I was 5 years USN, mid 90's. No one ever seemed to say it back then. This seems to be a post 9/11 thing.

It does make me uncomfortable, what am i supposed to say? "you're welcome.."? Its not like I really did anyone any favors, just another job. No one owes me anything (other than the govt. and VA).

MGdriver · Oct 18, 2023

Rob Allen said:
In my work I come into contact with veterans and I always thank them for their service and I mean it but it feels kinda trite and mundane. I want to ask them about their service but it's none of my business and they may not want to talk about it.
So I guess what I am asking is how in my daily work can I make veterans know they are more appreciated than just what amounts to a pleasantly or is a thank you as much as I can do?

Thanks.

PS.. couldn't get the prefix NFR to come up on my phone.

I feel slightly embarassed and a tiny bit proud too. I always reply, " Thank the guys and gals who's names are on the wall. They gave everything" . This is not to be unappreciative , it's just becuase 50 years later it dosent mean much to me. I dont want somebady to say thanks for something done so long ago like they are trying to make up for how we were forgotten then.

Perhaps "newer" vets may find it more appealing. But I will not presume top speak for them.

TicTokCroc · Oct 18, 2023

I don't say it, doesnt feel right or genuine, but if they are wearing a hat, or any other clues, I ask about their job and what they did. I'm genuinely curious and impressed, especially if it involved killing communists.

RCF · Oct 18, 2023

I will say 'Thank you for your service' when it feels right. For example if it comes up in a conversation or they are wearing something showing that they were in the service. From my POV it needs to be sincere and from the heart and that needs to be communicated with a handshake (sometimes) and looking at them straight in the eye when I say it. No PC BS from me...

Jerry Daschofsky · Oct 18, 2023

RCF said:
Interesting question. Lots of veterans on this site. I hope some will provide their POV. Maybe @Jerry Daschofsky will provide his POV with all his experience...

Ok, my 2 cents. Come from a big military family, most combat vets.

I've never ever thanked someone for their service. Definitely never quizzed them on their service outside of maybe what unit they served with. Never what exactly they did if they deployed to a combat zone.

I can honestly say that most who truly served in a combat zone feel uncomfortable when you thank them for their service, that's from my experience. And I dealt with thousands of military/veterans in the programs I ran.

If you want to give them a military/ veterans discount then just do that. No need to go beyond that. Like when I did the program. I chose to show them my thanks by working with them and helping them heal. Showing them through my volunteer work. As they say actions speak louder than words.

Old406Kid · Oct 18, 2023

USAF 68-72...I truly appreciate it when someone says "thank you for your service".

Rob Allen · Oct 18, 2023

Old406Kid said:
USAF 68-72...I truly appreciate it when someone says "thank you for your service".

I read the stories of men who served during that time frame. Particularly those who served in SEA and I become filled with gratitude for their (your) service.
I have no greater respect for anyone than those wearing Vietnam Veteran hats.

Brian Miller · Oct 18, 2023

mattsavage said:
No one owes me anything (other than the govt. and VA).

^^^^ Agreed.

MGdriver said:
I feel slightly embarassed and a tiny bit proud too.

^^^^ Yep

Old406Kid said:
USAF 68-72...I truly appreciate it when someone says "thank you for your service".

^^^^ 72-79...
I Thank them in return, and we both can move on with a good feeling.

krusty · Oct 19, 2023

USMC 71 - 75

Doesn't matter to me.

I was, however, picking up a package at the USPS annex a few days ago and the only other vehicle in the parking lot near the entrance had Purple Heart plates. As I entered the door he and wife were leaving and I thanked them for their sacrifice....and he replied "thank you, I really appreciate that". From his age I suspect he was either a Korean War or Vietnam veteran.

FinLuver · Oct 19, 2023

Old406Kid said:
USAF 68-72...I truly appreciate it when someone says "thank you for your service".

Dad was USAF 54-74…
I spent time on several bases growing up…USAF Brat 62-74.

Mike Cline · Oct 19, 2023

USAF (1968-1996). I am proud of my service and the 12 of 28 years I spent doing a job on foreign soil. I don’t hesitate to advertise my pride. When I get thanked for my service, it is often another vet and the chats can be interesting. Thanking a vet is no different than thanking anyone for something they’ve done well. Where it goes from there is pretty much up to the individuals. I have two vet flags in my place and they often entice conversations by passers by which are rarely focused on the specifics of service but more often or not pleasant conversation about the garden.

Brian Miller · Oct 21, 2023

At 5:00-8:00, (follow-up to 10:35) this Army-Army Reserve Veteran expresses the difference he experienced in appreciation for his service after tours in Vietnam vs. the Gulf War.

wanderingrichard · Oct 21, 2023

Army 76-92. Post Vietnam was a bad time for the army. I helped lay A LOT of my fellow soldiers and older veterans to rest during that time. Those are the guys who deserve the thanks.

Brian Miller · Oct 21, 2023

wanderingrichard said:
Post Vietnam was a bad time for the army.

Bad time for Air Force too. In 1972, I came home to Seattle on leave after 8 mos of Basic and Tech school on PCS to McChord with a NORAD fighter interceptor squadron. Dad was an Army Air Corps Vet, Mom former Civil Defense and was Secretary to Boeing Space Division President, both brothers in Army, and my Mom didn't want me to wear my uniform in public! Tacoma was a little better. Then post Vietnam, cutbacks in Defense spending led to force drawdowns (purges), fewer promotions, low morale. I was blessed to find employment with Texas Instruments before my ETS in 1979, and that all my colleagues were former Navy and AF Avionics techs. But in 1980, my Air Force Veteran wife had 2 prospective employers in Tacoma mock her Air Force (HF radio comms, SAC command and control) service after her ETS.

Flymph · Oct 22, 2023

Brian Miller said:
Bad time for Air Force too. In 1972, I came home to Seattle on leave after 8 mos of Basic and Tech school on PCS to McChord with a NORAD fighter interceptor squadron. Dad was an Army Air Corps Vet, Mom former Civil Defense and was Secretary to Boeing Space Division President, both brothers in Army, and my Mom didn't want me to wear my uniform in public! Tacoma was a little better. Then post Vietnam, cutbacks in Defense spending led to force drawdowns (purges), fewer promotions, low morale. I was blessed to find employment with Texas Instruments before my ETS in 1979, and that all my colleagues were former Navy and AF Avionics techs. But in 1980, my Air Force Veteran wife had 2 prospective employers in Tacoma mock her Air Force (HF radio comms, SAC command and control) service after her ETS.

Also stationed at McChord in the good old SAGE building for 3 years, 8 months with an early out to finish college degree. Hated being called a "baby killer" so VRB and early E-5 promotion did not = re-up!