NFR Humor
- Thread starter Buzzy
- Start date
Non-fishing related
MT_Flyfisher
Life of the Party
GETTING OLD
A little old blonde(dyed)haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............ "We will put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
A little old blonde(dyed)haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............ "We will put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
That remind me of a tale my friend told about a client he sold a new boat to, the guy called him told him that the 24ft boat he bought can only do 15 mph. So my friend met the guy at the lake took the boat out sure enough the just would not go any faster he dive down to see what's up the guy had launch the boat with the trailer still attached.
I’ve heard this story as true, and saw the picture tied to the dock, with submerged trailer.
Gives me hope. For me, not the human race.
Reminds me of yet another story from my youth...
A buddy and I had borrowed his dad's wooden rowboat to visit an island across the bay (tidal water). When we returned, we hid the boat under the ramp that ran down to the dock. When we came back for the boat the next day, we discovered what a rising tide can do to boats hidden under ramps...that's how nutcrackers work.....and yet I was allowed to reproduce.....
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Buddies and I (in our teens) decided to scare some of the waterfront neighbors on Agate Pass, so we took out one of the wooden rowboats. On an incoming tide we deliberately capsized it, came up underneath and waited for some kind of emergency response, tehe tehe. We drifted for quite a while, long past the bridge. I’m guessing now that anyone that saw the event was thinking “oh well, there goes some of the riffraff. Good riddance”.
So much for that bright idea.
So much for that bright idea.
And then what did you do?
Swam the boat to the beach below where the casino is now and righted it. Warmed up a bit and rowed home. We were never more that maybe 100’ from shore, and it was a warm day. Never in actual danger.
We were always messing around in boats.
The idea of tats here. If it is meant to be funny… i suppose if you get naked or take your shirt off and people chuckle at what you like like anyway , then why not I suppose. I have never gotten a tatoo. I still think of it as an old sailor or carnival thing. Age i guess and having read the Illustrated man a few times but then i love classics.
I'm a tat(too)-less old sailor. One of my former coworkers is also a former sailor, he's well inked. His upper torso's only inkless area appears to be his head. He once told me that when he dies, his will stipulates that his family makes lampshades from his art work hide. I think he was kidding but this is, after all, Gary.
I have seen services discussed about pushing to have peoples hides skinned off their carcass (once dead) we all have at least considered the hiding of others on our notorious lists. But that is more about others doing the deed isn’t it?
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Ed Gein type shit right there.
Tattoos are art, and though some people are ok with them being destroyed together with their bodies when they die, it doesn’t have to be that way. The National Association For The Preservation Of Skin Art (NAPSA) offers its members the opportunity to embalm and frame their tattoos when they die as gifts for their loved ones.
Hey even a cat butthole!
Hey even a cat butthole!
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East Coaster
Steelhead
And now, back to our regular programming.....
Two friends are walking their dogs together. One has a big black lab, while the other has a minuscule chihuahua. They pass a bar and the lab owner says, "Let's get a beer." The chihuahua walker complains, "That would be great, but we can't take our dogs in there." The first responds, "Watch me."
The lab owner strolls in with his dog and orders a beer. The bartender tells him, "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in here." "He's my seeing eye dog," the guy replies, feigning offense. The bartender quickly apologizes and serves him the beer.
The other guy follows with his chihuahua, and orders a beer as well. Again the bartender says there are no dogs allowed in the bar. "He's my seeing eye dog," the guy replies. "Yeah, right,” the bartender says, “A chihuahua? Give me a break."
Without missing a beat, the guy replies, "They gave me a chihuahua?!"
Two friends are walking their dogs together. One has a big black lab, while the other has a minuscule chihuahua. They pass a bar and the lab owner says, "Let's get a beer." The chihuahua walker complains, "That would be great, but we can't take our dogs in there." The first responds, "Watch me."
The lab owner strolls in with his dog and orders a beer. The bartender tells him, "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in here." "He's my seeing eye dog," the guy replies, feigning offense. The bartender quickly apologizes and serves him the beer.
The other guy follows with his chihuahua, and orders a beer as well. Again the bartender says there are no dogs allowed in the bar. "He's my seeing eye dog," the guy replies. "Yeah, right,” the bartender says, “A chihuahua? Give me a break."
Without missing a beat, the guy replies, "They gave me a chihuahua?!"
wanderingrichard
Life of the Party
Your welcome!
