NFR Humor (No political jokes)
- Thread starter Buzzy
- Start date
Non-fishing related
cdnred
Life of the Party
Mike and Pat , two Irishmen , were drifting in a lifeboat off a sinking freighter ; far from land with no oars or obvious food.
Mike rummaged around in the boat taking inventory and found an old oil lamp nested in a coil of rope.
More out of desperation than hope Mike rubbed the lamp vigorously with his hand.
Poof! A Genie appeared!
"For freeing me I'll grant you one wish he announced."
Mike didn't even hesitate. "I wish this whole ocean was Guinness beer."
Poof! The Genie was gone.
The two sat in silence awhile, just the sounds of beer lapping against the boat.
Pat the whole time was just glaring at Mike.
"You've really done us " he said.
"Now we'll have to piss in the boat!"
Mike rummaged around in the boat taking inventory and found an old oil lamp nested in a coil of rope.
More out of desperation than hope Mike rubbed the lamp vigorously with his hand.
Poof! A Genie appeared!
"For freeing me I'll grant you one wish he announced."
Mike didn't even hesitate. "I wish this whole ocean was Guinness beer."
Poof! The Genie was gone.
The two sat in silence awhile, just the sounds of beer lapping against the boat.
Pat the whole time was just glaring at Mike.
"You've really done us " he said.
"Now we'll have to piss in the boat!"
Triploidjunkie
Life of the Party
I ain't one of them.
A
Anonymous member 148
Guest
I can hook anything but a fish.
Took the whole string of light poles down.
Took the whole string of light poles down.
Possibly the funniest cartoon, to me at least. I rode a Vespa all over North Kitsap County in my yout. Silverdale to Port Gamble, Hood Canal to Braindead Island. Been thinking about getting another one lately.
cdnred
Life of the Party
With the price of gas today, more people should be thinking along that line..
Xoxo
…
2-year-old orders 31 cheeseburgers after mom leaves phone unlocked — CNN
A Texas mother learned an important lesson about leaving her phone unlocked after her 2-year-old son accidentally ordered 31 McDonald's cheeseburgers from DoorDash.
apple.news
I love this story so much and it made me laugh out loud. The photo is adorable.
cdnred
Life of the Party
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The fisherman replied that it only took a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish. The fisherman said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.
The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor."
The American scoffed. "I am a Wharton MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then L.A., and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise."
The fisherman asked, "But how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "Fifteen or 20 years."
"But what then?"
The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."
"Millions? Then what?"
The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your friends."
The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor."
The American scoffed. "I am a Wharton MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then L.A., and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise."
The fisherman asked, "But how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "Fifteen or 20 years."
"But what then?"
The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."
"Millions? Then what?"
The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your friends."