NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
Speaking of being in clubs…..

Hiking in your late 60’s is a great way to meet people.

Today I met two paramedics, four nurses, two doctors and almost met Jesus.


*disclaimer: This did not actually happen to me - this is an attempt at humor. Because it sounds like it could happen to any of us, I thought I’d better clarify before the sympathy/empathy started to pour in. That is all.
 
Mukman said:
Speaking of being in clubs…..

Hiking in your late 60’s is a great way to meet people.

Today I met two paramedics, four nurses, two doctors and almost met Jesus.


*disclaimer: This did not actually happen to me - this is an attempt at humor. Because it sounds like it could happen to any of us, I thought I’d better clarify before the sympathy/empathy started to pour in. That is all.
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This thought has occurred to me since I hike and fish alone a fair bit. But it's more along the lines of the bad luck of whoever finds my carcass. Will they call for a helicopter or a packer with a mule or just have the good sense to leave me be? The upside is that I'll probably be carrying some decent hiking and or fishing gear that they can have.
 
Salmo_g said:
This thought has occurred to me since I hike and fish alone a fair bit. But it's more along the lines of the bad luck of whoever finds my carcass. Will they call for a helicopter or a packer with a mule or just have the good sense to leave me be? The upside is that I'll probably be carrying some decent hiking and or fishing gear that they can have.
Click to expand...
A few years ago the Okanogan County Sheriff wrote a article on what to do when you die in the wilderness.

It seems that once rigor mortis sets in it is very difficult to pack the body on a mule. The mule doesn't like it. So the Sheriff made the request that just before you take you last breath, drape your body over a large log. That will make packing you out on a mule much, much easier and the mule will appreciate it.

Drape your ass over the log.

I have a friend that was working for the Forest Service in the Gila Wilderness when they packed out the body and the wife was so horrified by seeing her husband lashed to a mule that she sued the Forest Service for emotional trauma. The Forest Service to protect "wilderness values" denied a request for a helicopter to retrieve the body. Dead is dead, there is no emergency at that point.

The Forest Service now allows helicopters to fly out the body. Yeah, that did not play well in the media.
 
If you need emergency transportation, insurance/medicare does NOT cover the expense. I had to find out the hard way. Ambulance is bad enough, but Lifeflight is out of the park. I sure would still call 911 if it meant to live.
 
We had a horse die in the NF, luckily not far off a road. Reported it, was told it has to be removed.
How?
Drag it out, shove it in trailer with other horses.
Blow it up.
Cut it up with a chainsaw, carry parts out.
Finally I convinced them i would hire a backhoe to bury it deep which they accepted.
 
509 said:
A few years ago the Okanogan County Sheriff wrote a article on what to do when you die in the wilderness.

It seems that once rigor mortis sets in it is very difficult to pack the body on a mule. The mule doesn't like it. So the Sheriff made the request that just before you take you last breath, drape your body over a large log. That will make packing you out on a mule much, much easier and the mule will appreciate it.

Drape your ass over the log.

I have a friend that was working for the Forest Service in the Gila Wilderness when they packed out the body and the wife was so horrified by seeing her husband lashed to a mule that she sued the Forest Service for emotional trauma. The Forest Service to protect "wilderness values" denied a request for a helicopter to retrieve the body. Dead is dead, there is no emergency at that point.

The Forest Service now allows helicopters to fly out the body. Yeah, that did not play well in the media.
Click to expand...
Was told of an elderly couple on a multi-day rafting trip. The husband died and they had to carry the body with them for a couple days until a ranger could get to them with a 4x4 truck. She elected to stay and continue the trip. The group watched as the truck crawled back up the steep and bumpy road out, with the deceased, wrapped up, bouncing around in the back.
 
Then there's that old story about Charlie golfing as part of a foursome. He had a heart attack and died on the 4th hole and his partners said the rest of the game was slowed cuz it was hit the ball and drag Charlie, hit the ball and drag Charlie.
 
Somewhat related, I was playing golf at a local club here in Seattle, having taken the afternoon off, and met an older guy (John) on the first tee. Walking up the fairway he said “Just so you know, they have a defibrillator in the pro shop”. Good to know (I’m thinking). A hole or two later we’re talking and he told of how he’d already had three heart attacks on the course and that the defibrillator had brought him back each time.
That was close to 20 years back so I’m sure he’s playing somewhere else now.
 
A 16 year old kid was smoking a cigarette outside on a porch. A man, walking by, stopped and said "You know that smoking will kill you right?" The boy said "Well, my grandpa lived to be ninety five years old". The well intended man asked "And did he smoke?" The boy says "No, but he knew how to mind his own damn business".
 
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My brother in law is a crazy conspiracy theorist.

He won’t be an organ donor, because he says if he’s in an accident, the paramedics won’t try and save him because they want to harvest his organs.

He’s crazy.

But, I can’t argue with him. He’s a paramedic.
 
There is this great little thread about positivity…I have been working on ignoring things that do not benefit me. I have decided to ignore some of the input, to control what I absorb.
I have decided to ignore shit and the purported fact that every human on earth poops at least 410 lbs every year. I recommend you all do the same.
 
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