NFR Humor (No political jokes)

[Mossback]

I

 

[SilverFly]

Another from my wife's funny feed.

 

[Mossback]

 

[Mukman]

If you ask me what I’m doing today, and I say “nothing”, it doesn’t mean I’m free.

It means I’m doing nothing.

 

[bobduck]

If you ask me what I’m doing today, and I say “nothing”, it doesn’t mean I’m free.

It means I’m doing nothing.

And I'm not done yet.

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

My pet termite is named Clint Eatswood

 

[Smokey Bear]

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

Why was the equal sign so humble?Because he knew he wasn't less than or greater than anyone else.

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

The past, present and future walk into a bar…
It was tense

 

[Mossback]

 

[Mukman]

After you die, you can be cremated and your ashes can be put in an hourglass so you can still participate in family game night.

 

[Mukman]

My wife and I just celebrated ten years of happy marriage.

It was, coincidentally, our 30th wedding anniversary.

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[Porter2]

I definetly do not miss chopped liver. That was a horrible meal. Thank god for copious amounts of ketchup back then.

 

[JudyM]

I definitely do not miss chopped liver. That was a horrible meal. Thank God for copious amounts of ketchup back then.

And lots of soft grilled onions.... If you are a cholesterol problem person, liver is not for you.

 

[Mukman]

A frog got his DNA tested.

He’s mostly German, some Irish, and a tad Pole.

 

[Mukman]

She died doing what she loved best: walking into the road saying, “Pedestrians have the right of way.”

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

After you die, you can be cremated and your ashes can be put in an hourglass so you can still participate in family game night.

Hell I like that idea!

 

[Matt B]

A frog got his DNA tested.

He’s mostly German, some Irish, and a tad Pole.

Did ya hear about the stadium in Warsaw they had to tear down? No matter what, in every seat you were behind a Pole.

 

[Mukman]

Sure, I drink brake fluid.

But I can stop anytime.