NFR Humor (No political jokes)

[joefromchicago]

Reminds me of a Pickles cartoon strip joke. The wife asks,
Why did you ruin the towels in the guest bathroom?
H: You know that cocoa butter soap?
W: Yes.
H: Well, it sounds better than it tastes.

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[Herkileez]

 

[Zak]

 

[Dave G]

British dry measure equivalent to about eight dry quarts. Prior to the Revolution in Boston folks were pissed about British dumb arse stuff like that. Called them peckerheads and got drunk and threw the Brits tea in the harbor. That started a war. They called themselves patriots but throwing mudballs was not working well though so they started using better stuff to chase the Brits away. This was a great thing and probably the reason today we don’t know what a peck is.

That's peckaheads, in true Boston-speak!

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

That's peckaheads, in true Boston-speak!

The absence of the r sorta removes the penis reference unfortunately. Bostonians can’t roll their r’s… i get it

 

[JudyM]

Now you have better than a normal dogs bone density

Yup, 110% of normal of a human, I am "Chonky". Built for comfort, not for speed!

 

[joefromchicago]

That's peckaheads, in true Boston-speak!

Yer just.....like.....yer.....fatha! (Did I get it right ?)

 

[Herkileez]

I cannot believe that Bob Barker lived as close as possible to 100 without going over.

Beautiful...Even he would have to laugh at that one..........

 

[Stonedfish]

 

[Dave G]

Yer just.....like.....yer.....fatha! (Did I get it right ?)

Many years back one of the local supermarkets featured a radio ad with someone named Kay McCarthy. This prompted my own bastardization:

This is Kay McCahthy with the Stah Mahket recipe of the week. This week: cohn-fed baby peckaheads'. Maybe you had to be there.

 

[bobduck]

View attachment 80487

I wish I had a photo but when I was in Escondido this spring I saw a billboard sign advertising a veterinarian/ taxidermist. Under the Dr.'s photo it said "Either way you get your dog back"

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[Porter2]

Sven says, "Hey, Olie! Whatcha grinnin' about?"

Olie says, "I had a very nice date with Leena last night."

"Oh? Do tell!"

"Well, she picked me up in that new pick-up of hers and we went for a drive through the woods. After a spell, she pulled off the main road down this little path and stopped. She got out of the truck without turning it off and walked in front of it, where she started to take all of her clothes off! Finally, buck naked in the headlights, she yells, 'Take what you will, Olie!' So I took the truck and left."

"That's mighty smart of you, Olie. Those clothes would've never fit you."

 

[bobduck]

How's this ?

Says it all. Is her name really Joe?

 

[Jim in Anacortes]

I always said my wife was a good housekeeper......after the divorce she kept the house.

 

[Phil K]

A guy I once worked with, who had some experience in the matter said: “When you leave your house, you kiss your wife goodbye. When you leave your wife, you kiss your house goodbye.”

 

[Jim in Anacortes]

A duck steps up to the bar and orders a beer. He says "Put it on my bill".

 

[Jim in Anacortes]

A distraught mother was concerned that her teenage daughter was dating their, much older next door neighbor. She said to the daughter "He could be your father". The daughter said "I don't care about his age, I love him". The mother said...."You're not understanding what I'm saying".

 

[Stonedfish]