Stonefish's Beachy Romance thread

It's been a year since the last entry! Apologies....


@Stonedfish and the Three Women

By Luscious "Boot" Hemingway

Stones woke up from his nap. He was dreaming of seaglass middens. The piles of seaglass were high, like the mud and rocks near the Partisan's grave. He thought of the expatriate with the legs like telescopes and the face of a woman. He remembered what the bullfighter had said. The bullfighter talked while the black cat licked oils out of the sardine tin. That was the good time. When the bullfighter spoke to him and the sardines were easy to eat.

Habrá tres mujeres nadando con gorros rosas.

He knew the cutthroat trout were heating up in both North and South sound. He knew this even though the bullfighter was talking. He drank the Verdejo. he looked at the glass. One day this glass could become seaglass. Or it could be trash. Either way it could end up in his bucket. He liked men who carried two things, buckets and bandages. Three things. He changed his mind. The third thing, one more than two, the things that men carried, the third thing was sardines. Men that carried cans of sardines, he liked them too.

He was awake now. He was lying on the beach by his fly rods. His wading boots nearly touched his bucket. Puget sound was flat and the sun was high and the tide was dull. He thought of @roger stephens and his gurglers and pencil flies. Roger Stephens seemed like the kind of man who had sardines and bandages close by. He also seemed like the kind of man who kept his buckets clean. He rubbed his stubble and thought again about the seaglass and the women in the pink hats who were swimming and now emerging from the water. They did not look like the black cat that ate the fat from the sardine tin. They did not look like the expatriot with the legs like telescopes. The did not move like Roger Stephens or the bullfighter. They swam without buckets.

When he looked at them all three of them stopped and stared at Stones. Had he offered them something he did not have? He did not have any more sardines or a bucket full of seaglass to give. There were only a few pieces of seaglass. He did not carry a telescope or bandages any more. They looked at him Like he was a Lion with yellow teeth by the Kilamanjaro road. Not at the snow line but not far from it either. They looked like they could swim in cold water. Cold water like Lake Michigan near the Big Two Hearted River where the fat trout ate flies. They did not look like they swam with the sharks and the old men in Havana. They might have been communists or partisans but they did not look like fascists.

He drank more Absinthe. And then he drank more Albariño. He looked at the shotgun. He thought of the bandages the fascist wore over their eyes before they hung in the town square. He was glad he did not drive the ambulance or have to talk with the expatriot with the legs like two telescopes. He was glad he did not have to hang fascists. He did not like fascists. He wondered if he even liked partisans at this point. Or expatriots. Some of the things he used to like he no longer liked. Because of the bad times. He had seen a soldier, no more than a boy. He had one leg that did not telescope. That was the bad time. That boy would not fight bulls.

He might swim though. The boy would eat sardines and become strong. You can swim with one leg just as the sun will rise over the baked dirt and mud. The swimmers had two legs. There were three swimmers. There were six legs between the three swimmers. Each of them had two arms. Six Arms was the name of the bar in Lyon, close to where the Expatriot's sister had crashed the coupe. The sister did not have six arms and did not have legs like telescopes. She did not like sardines. She did not like Pulpo. The sister had a voice like a flywheel needing grease. They needed bandages and ointments then. Grease would not fix the sister, ointment and bandages would. Her broken bone pushed out of her skin. The ambulance men were old soldiers and had seen worse. That was a time that was not bad as the time they served in the war. That time the coupe wrecked was not good either. It was not war and death and mud, so it was a better time than the bad time. It did not rain mud. The ambulance men were paid in sardines and looked angry. They looked angrier when they first arrived. The sardines made them less angry. They were good sardines for a hot day. A hot can of sardines on a hot day when you could wrap bandages around long splintered bone was a good time. The bone would heal but the sister's voice would not.

He thought of the difference between good sardines and bad sardines and drank more Absinthe.

His wool turtleneck was itchy. The wool neck compressed his beard. His beard was just stubble earlier when he awoke. It made him very hot. His beard grew very quickly. Sardines made beards grow. You could not grow a leg back with just sardines to eat. But you could hide sardines in a beard. you could also hide the can they came in if the beard was big enough. He had known many partisans that hid sardines in their beards. When he watched the fascists hang he was younger, there were no sardines or bullfighters. His beard did not grow then. And the bandages were hard to find. His beard grew quickly now.

Flies moved into the cans that once held the sardines. The cans were near his wading boots but not in the bucket. They would be put there later. The wool and the sun and beard made him hot. The sun reflected off the empty sardine cans and made it harder to see the women. There were cans of pulpo too. Those cans were not angled to reflect the sun. The cans that once had Pulpo in them would also go in the bucket. You could eat pulpo, and you could eat sardines and you could find seaglass. Had there been a better time? He thought maybe not. Except for the high sun and the flat tide, overall it was a good time, better with rain and fog though. Not fog and mud, just regular fog. Fog that looked like cigar smoke or the exhaust from the PILAR as she moved to where the Marlin worked.

He would soon put all the cans in his bucket with the seaglass and other trash he had found. Later you would see the bucket also rises. With cans in it. Stones would lift the bucket up after the cans were placed in it and carry it to his ambulance. Which looked like a mildew-covered ford explorer from a very bad time. It looked like it had rained mud and mildew on his ambulance. But this ambulance could carry many buckets, and would be filled soon with more sardines. he would put his wading boots, his buckets, the seaglass, the cans, the trash, the shotgun, the rods into his fisherman's ambulance. He would not crash the coupe like the expatriate's sister did.

He thought that the coupe the expatriate's sister crashed. If it was filled with cans and buckets, she would not have broken her bone. The cans and buckets, if they surrounded her, they would protect her. The buckets would have likely broken. A bucket is a temporary thing. You can replace a bucket. He knew this was a good reason to have cans and buckets crammed into his ambulance. It was better to break a good bucket or to crush a can than splinter long bone.

The sun turned the mud to rock in the heat of the day. The tide stayed dull. There were fish but Stones was watching the women. Six arms, six legs, 3 pink caps, no buckets, no cans. This day was interesting. Puget Sound was heating up.

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Source https://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2024/06/photos-keeping-cool-summer-heat/678720/
 
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The glowing absinthe lead to syphilis and gutters. The gutters were populated with empty sardine cans and Picasso faced women with telescoping legs. The beach was in the distance and covered in hot sun. This was the bad time, badder than the best. Stones dreamed of fog and mist, an onshore breeze of floral ambergris. Flipper strokes of Matisse sirens in the unseen distance. This was the good dream, better than the worst.
 
It's been nearly two years since the last entry! Apologies....


The Four Hands of @Stonedfish

By "Boot" Hemingway

The Partisan was drunk and stumbled into the gutter. He talked like he had pulpo stuck in his teeth

"Puget Sounds heating up."

It was a statement, not a question. It was noise and it was place. Maybe it was water. The spoken almost possessive confused the verb. The words meant things. Words spoken in the morning air. Some of the words formed around dust. Some of the words came with spit or pulpo. The words did not hurt. When the lion's yellow teeth cut his skin, that also hurt. Then the lion died. Lions die and wine goes sour. He thought of the way jerez turned to vinegar in the sun.

"Vinegar and pulpo though, not a bad combination, eh Stones?"

The Partisan knew him but Stones did not know the partisan. Four-handed men in a small village cannot dip smolts in peace. Such is village law.

Stones held his rod in his good hand. His bag full of seaglass in his other hand. His third hand held a basket full of beach trash. In that basket, A plastic boat. A wheel from a shopping cart. A tube of ground meat ready to burst like the corpse of the bull by the roadside now for a week. The bull was struck by a bus carrying school girls from Marseilles. The bull was not in the basket, it was too big. The tube of ground meat was in the basket because it was not too big. None of those girls would swim at the village beach. Girls won't swim in a tide thick with smolts. The girls stared at the dying bull from the bus windows. They looked like sardines staring from a tin. Surf smolts are almost sardines. The girls did not stare at Stones and his four hands. In his four hands he carried things. These were the things that he carried. But one of those things was not the big bloated dead bull. That was too big. In his fourth hand he held the dip net. The dip net was big, but not as big as the dead bull or the bus full of schoolgirls.

"The American will swim here soon. Her cap will be on her head. So her hair stays dry. A Cap like Amanita. You must beware"

The words came out of the Partisan's mouth and into the air like the rain came out of the cloud and into the bad time. But there was no rain and there had been no rain for months. For 84 days. Today was the 85th day.

Remember how the Fascist had said he did not believe the partisan before he was shot in the town square? Before the dawn rose over the mountains stacked with dead? Mountains also covered with vines? Grapes fat and waiting to be picked? Mountains too dry for trout streams? Well the Partisan did not sound like that dead fascist. He was too drunk. Drunk at dawn is different than dead at dawn. One is the bad time. The other is the worse time.

The burro kicked at flies flying around its ass. The drunk scratched at his torn fatigues. The canvas was weak. The flies were not stubborn. They looked for a good time. The ass was not the same as the flies. The mule was an ass and the burro was a donkey and all of them were stubborn except for the flies. The Partisan seemed stubborn. Or stupid.

There is overlap there Stones thought.

The words made Stones think of the good time. Then Stones saw the flies around the ass of the Donkey move to the partisan's open mouth. The mouth had stopped moving and was open. The sun lit up the inside of the mouth. He could not see Pulpo. The mouth was dry like that of the dead. But still the flies entered, so maybe there was moisture there still. This was the 85th day and clouds were in the sky. they looked like white jellyfish, or upside down smoke. They too, were looking for the wet.

Stones thought of those now departed. Roger Stephens. Roger had written of the heating. Roger had talked of the surface action and how this was a good time. And Skip Enge had painted his good time with the trout and rocks. Some of the trout skin was as red as blood. Then there was the man with who wrote about the flies. His name was Les Johnson. He was good and fought too, he caught many fish and now he was dead. The Old Man, he was gone too. The Old Man who once wrote about the Sea and the white salmon as long as his arm. The Old Man loved blue lines more. He fought, he cooked, he was dead. His Atlas closed. These men did not die unnamed. They did not die unmapped like where they found the lion in the kraal or the bodies of the unknown Partisans and Fascists in the mountains. In the sum of it, one hoped there was more good times than bad times for these men with names. He liked to think that. But do you ever know?

Stones was not dead. He was not old. Stones liked the sea. The Sea was both old and young. He liked the ruins it threw at the shore. He picked them up. Studied them. Took photos while waiting for the tide to push the smolts close. The Smolts were not old and it would be soon. In his first hand he held a rod. In the second there was the bucket full of things he had found that were not seaglass. His third hand had the linen sack of seaglass. His fourth hand held the dip net. These were the things he carried in his four hands.

The dip net was made of branches used to pen the lion. The branches shaped and contorted into a maw. The branches wound with leather or shoelace he pulled from the boot of the fascist. The thorns cut from the branches. The net was woven by the Spanish woman with one eye and one hand. The other eye Stones knew, that eye now gone, that eye had seen a bad time. The other hand though, that hand had felt a worse time. She had three hands less than Stones did. One Eye blind. Stones had two eyes. Both eyes could see, between the old woman and Stones there were three good eyes. And four, no make that five, hands. And one of them could mend a net. Stones knew the math. The net lined the maw. The maw had no teeth for the thorns were cut. The flies were not interested in the mouth of the net. But the dip net was good and the wood was worn and smooth and the bright rising sun made the polish glint close to where Stones now carried it with his fourth good hand.

Amanita is a death cap. A mushroom that would not go with the pulpo. That poison would not sap with Jerez. Amanita would not fall into the pan with the butter. Nothing would ruin the dead surf smolts snapping and popping in the hot pan as the fish turned brighter white, their skin sticking to the metal and the flesh liberated. This would be the good time. Soon the smolts would be in the net. And then in the basket, followed by the pan, and then into Stones' mouth. This is the way the smolts would be carried.

It had not rained in many days. The tide was strong, like the American swimmer with the small breasts and the large legs and pink swim hat. The perfume he knew she wore would also be strong. But the smell of the surf smelts would be more. Stones knew the American was not Amanita. Anyone could tell she wasn't a mushroom. She had two arms. She had two legs.

In what world do mushrooms have ARMS and LEGS and swim like that? Stones thought these things. Stones was right. The Partisan was an ass. And so was the donkey.

She had a pink swim cap. Her perfume was sweet and did not smell of death and rotting communists. Stones thought of her atlas, the map she might have, the places she had swum, the things she had carried. She would have carried a towel in one hand, maybe sandals in the other. Then he thought of the butter in the pan. He could imagine the fat bubbling out of the pan with oils of fish. It would sting just a little when a ball of fat flew from the pan and hit his arm. It would not hurt like the tooth of a lion. And the pan would not smell like the swimmer with the pink hat. She smelled of Paris. She smelled of the good time, but a different good time from this smell of frying fish.. He thought no more of the Amanita or the fool in the gutter. The smolts would come as the high turned. His net would dip and fill. The pan would soon be hot. And the smolts would soon cook.
 
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It had not rained in many days. The tide was strong, like the American swimmer with the small breasts and the large legs and pink swim hat. The perfume he knew she wore would also be strong. But the smell of the surf smelts would be more.

God damn Boot….😂😂😂
SF
 
When this epic tale becomes a movie, the musical score should be courtesy of the Amazing Rythm Aces . . . "Third Rate Romance"
 
Post in thread 'Strange, weird or odd or whatever beach finds thread….' https://pnwflyfishing.com/forum/index.php?threads/strange-weird-or-odd-or-whatever-beach-finds-thread….59/post-55651

Magnificent writing everyone. Now let us shift the plot. Stones learns of a secret beach accessible only during the lowest of tides. Gamefish are rumored to be in abundance and the pink capped swimmer rarely ventures this far south. But our love sick hero will soon confront another aspect of romance. A maze of forest trails, frisbees, and banana hammocks. Tighten your literary wading belts!
 
Sounds as if Stone will have his four hands full!
 
Post in thread 'Strange, weird or odd or whatever beach finds thread….' https://pnwflyfishing.com/forum/index.php?threads/strange-weird-or-odd-or-whatever-beach-finds-thread….59/post-55651

Magnificent writing everyone. Now let us shift the plot. Stones learns of a secret beach accessible only during the lowest of tides. Gamefish are rumored to be in abundance and the pink capped swimmer rarely ventures this far south. But our love sick hero will soon confront another aspect of romance. A maze of forest trails, frisbees, and banana hammocks. Tighten your literary wading belts!
Ok hopefully this is Dime's teaser for a work in progress.... a Tulum Tickler so to speak.... a whole genre of budgie smugglers, pulpo, two-handed four-handed strips, spanish wines, expatriots, and good >bad times
 
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