NFR No scientific proof that happiness techniques work...

Non-fishing related
Jimmy buffet fans strike me as really happy, all the time . I would rather saw my arm off than spend any time in margaritaville.

Arthur Brooks writes about this stuff a lot in the Atlantic. That magazine had a whole edition about happiness maybe 14 months ago. Probably the first magazine I read cover to cover, ever.

Building stuff, testing hypotheses, seeing things (specifically plants and/or people) grow better and change over time, I suppose those are my versions of happiness. Maybe throw in seeing something new and beautiful and unexpected.

Or writing Stonefish beachy romance ( or any stupid scene).so bad that I’m laughing while writing, I suppose that’s a minor hit on the fleeting crack pipe of happiness . Or reading someone who has humor and style with some combo of humility /suffering/ hope, there’s happiness there too….

There’s music too, what songs do I never skip on the playlist? Turns out none are particularly happy in lyrics, more they are accurate and beautiful representations of pain/emotion/uncertainty.
 
Happiness is only found in moments, peace of mind can be enduring.
But how to find?
Two truths help build the foundation.
'The only thing in life we can control is how we react to it'
'Accepting the inevitability of our death should free us from fear of decisions and changes, and remind us just how needless worry over small things actually is'.
 
krusty said:
when life gives you a solid punch in the mouth.
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And those punches are gonna come for every one of us. And none of us knows what anyone else is going through.

Slightly unrelated, but brings to mind this clip from Ted Lasso (a wonderfully sweet, funny, and entertaining show). The setup context is that one of the players (Issac) had gone into the stands and fought a fan who was yelling slurs.

 
I watch a lot of YouTube because about 30% of it is actually valuable information that is difficult to get otherwise. But there is a lot of feigned happiness on YouTube for sure. The van lifers are a prime example trying to make their lives appear exciting, sexy, adventuresome, desirable, prosperous and somehow better than those of us that have a real life. Once in a while someone will draw back the curtain a bit and let us see into the reality of their glorious existence. They are fuckin' homeless! Probably there is about 25% of the van life/SUV life/live in a Prius crowd that are actually good at it and can afford it, many of the rest are trying to make do with a bad situation that has forced them out of a home and are now chasing the dream of making a living with internet content. YouTube is a content glutton and most run out of material after a short while, a few make well over $100,000 a year but they are the exception. How many of us have an adventure a week that we can write about for years on end and have taken seriously.

At 85 I am happy to just be alive but would be much happier if I hadn't lost my wife of over 50 years. But I'm making the best of what is left, still alert, agile and best of all-mobile. I think learning to be content and grateful for what you have is a quality that more should cultivate early in life. If you can never have enough or earn enough to achieve what you perceive to be happiness you will be a dog chasing it's tail the rest of your life. At this stage of my life I can define happiness easily, it is having good friends that I love and care for. Without them my life would be a bleak existence.
 
Josh said:
And those punches are gonna come for every one of us. And none of us knows what anyone else is going through.

Slightly unrelated, but brings to mind this clip from Ted Lasso (a wonderfully sweet, funny, and entertaining show). The setup context is that one of the players (Issac) had gone into the stands and fought a fan who was yelling slurs.

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I have got to see this show; been hearing rave reviews about it for years.

Is Apple TV the only option? We finally got solid internet (Starlink) at our house out in the woods and can stream shows now.
 
"Money can't buy happiness. But it can buy a yacht big enough to pull up alongside it."

David Lee Roth
 
I think unhappiness and anger are habits. If you spend your time being bombarded by the 24/7 "entertainment/news" channels and most social media, it doesn't take long before you're angry and unhappy all the time, and you've started a habit. They make you that way so you'll tune in tomorrow too, and their advertisers know it. Change your habit.
 
Merle said:
Is Apple TV the only option?
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Yeah. It's 100% an Apple TV production. Not available anywhere else that I know of. But as Apple TV is just $5/mo, it's pretty easy to pick it up, watch a show for a month or two, and then cancel.
 
Guy Gregory said:
I think unhappiness and anger are habits. If you spend your time being bombarded by the 24/7 "entertainment/news" channels and most social media, it doesn't take long before you're angry and unhappy all the time, and you've started a habit. They make you that way so you'll tune in tomorrow too, and their advertisers know it. Change your habit.
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This, 100%

And it is the basis of why Billy, Evan, and I are such hardasses about not letting that kind of mentality take hold here at PNWFF. We want this place to be a break from that habit for everyone. Somewhere that is just about doing something we all love and enjoying the friendships and connections that come from it.
 
As to the original post, I don't think humans are similar enough to all be made happy by the same things. Some people are completely freaked out by being out in nature, some very uncomfortable with social interaction, so generalizations are bound to fail here.
My sibs are some of the least sociable people I know, but are all pretty kind and happy folks.
SurfnFish said:
The only thing in life we can control is how we react to it'
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This. If your instinctive reaction is not accomplishing something positive, learn to recognize that and change it*.
As an example: getting pissed off when someone in your lane is going 2mph slower than you want to go is absolutely pointless. They don't know and don't care that you're upset. You are the only one you are making feel bad (well, and probably anyone else in the car with you!), and the reality is that the only real consequence of your "plight" in most cases is that you might get to your destination 45 seconds later than if you were going your preferred speed. Your anger accomplishes nothing good, so let it go, and your day will be happier for it.

*Easier said than done! It takes conscious effort, but if I succeed 50% of the time, I figure that's still moving in the right direction
 
I’m with @Billy on social media. I am such a happier person or for a better word content person since leaving social media in college. Say you have 100 friends, it’s inevitable someone is doing something awesome each day and posting about it making you feel bummed your day doesn’t include X.

For whatever reason I do not get any of that feeling from this community even though it could be argued it’s the same.

Humility in accepting what affects you negatively and positively, then taking control is a key. I also think the number one way to feel happiness is to give happiness.
 
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As mentioned above the Arthur Brooks writings are good, at least I find them to be. I also like revisting "Wherever you go there you are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn from time to time.
 
Northern said:
As to the original post, I don't think humans are similar enough to all be made happy by the same things. Some people are completely freaked out by being out in nature, some very uncomfortable with social interaction, so generalizations are bound to fail here.
My sibs are some of the least sociable people I know, but are all pretty kind and happy folks.


*Easier said than done! It takes conscious effort, but if I succeed 50% of the time, I figure that's still moving in the right direction
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Even if you are moving 2 mph slower than you want, it is still the right direction....50% of the time anyway
:)
 
I think we've all figured out in other threads this mental health thing is a tough nut as everyone is wired a bit different. I liked these comments as they have helped me. The social thing, I am never more uncomfortable than with people I don't know. This forum is great though.
Divad said:
the number one way to feel happiness is to give happiness
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The golden rule was Sunday's topic, and here it is again in slightly different form.
Mossback said:
Serenity
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grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as it is and not as I would have it;
 
Happiest people I know are the most unflappable.
Unhappiest people I know are the opposite of that.
For some life just happens and they roll with it.
For others, life keeps punching them in the mouth so they keep swinging back.
 
IMO, you can't choose to be happy...Happiness is largely the result of our natural endorphin and dopamine neurotransmitter levels.
I've seen miserable S.O.B.'s with everything...and others happier'n hell with almost nothing.
 
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