NFR Humor (No political jokes)

[aaronj]

LOL

 

[Peyton00]

So many jokes for this woman.

 

[Breck]

A pirate walks into a bar...

Bartender: "Hey there, Cap'n! It's been a while! Man, you look terrible."

Pirate: "Aye. It's been a rough coupla years. But I'm doing fine."

Bartender: "Well, last time I saw you, you didn't have the wooden leg. What happened there?"

Pirate: "Aye, well you see, I was boarding a ship and me leg was hit by a cannonball. But it's fine."

Bartender: "It also appears that your right hand has been replaced with a hook."

Pirate: "Aye. Same scenario. I boarded a ship, got into a swordfight, and lost me hand as a result."

Bartender: "Geez. Tough break. What's the deal with the eyepatch? You had two good eyes last I saw you."

Pirate: "Well...I was looking up at the clouds when a seagull flew overhead and shat right in me eye."

Bartender: "You lost an eye due to seagull shit?"

Pirate: "Not exactly... It was the first day with me hook."

 

[flybill]

 

[Clean Willy]

Scientists have grown human vocal cords in a petri dish.

The results speak for themselves.

 

[wanderingrichard]

 

[Buzzy]

Maybe this should go in the "What are you listening to" thread.......

 

[Jim in Anacortes]

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." — Rodney Dangerfield

 

[JudyM]

 

[JudyM]

I do this....

 

[Jim F.]

Yup.

Back in the day -
Kids' Mom: "Did you eat?"
Kids (after checking my shirt): "Yeah, Mom; Dad ate."

 

[Clean Willy]

 

[flybill]

 

[Mossback]

 

[Jim F.]

"Your. Own. Personal. Cheeses." ??? I'd strongly suggest skipping the fromunda cheese . . .

 

[M_D]

View attachment 181438

That’s awesome

 

[Breck]

why don't rednecks circumcise their infant sons?


Later in life, it will give them a place to keep their chew while they're eating lunch.

 

[flybill]

 

[Rainforest Gump]

 

[JudyM]