NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
Ole, Sven, and Nels came into the bar. They were high-fiving each other, shouting, and generally having a celebration of some sort.

"Line 'em up," Ole shouted as the party continued.

They drank and carried on for hours. Finally the bartender’s curiosity got the better of him. "Just what are you celebrating?" he asked.

"51 days! We did it in 51 days!" they responded.

"What did you do in 51 days?" he probed.

"Put the puzzle together," they replied, "51 days, and the box said 3-5 years!"
 
Porter2 said:
Ole, Sven, and Nels came into the bar. They were high-fiving each other, shouting, and generally having a celebration of some sort.

"Line 'em up," Ole shouted as the party continued.

They drank and carried on for hours. Finally the bartender’s curiosity got the better of him. "Just what are you celebrating?" he asked.

"51 days! We did it in 51 days!" they responded.

"What did you do in 51 days?" he probed.

"Put the puzzle together," they replied, "51 days, and the box said 3-5 years!"
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Thank you @Porter2. I was based out of South Dakota in the late 70s & early 80s. Every time you drop an Ole’ & Sven story I have flashbacks. Laughter is good in these times.
 
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" asked St. Peter. "Well, I can think of one thing," said the cowboy.

"On a trip to the Badlands of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I walked up to the biggest, baddest, most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.

I yelled, now back off or l'll kick the shit out of every last one of you."

Saint Peter was impressed, and said: " That was very brave and heroic of you, when did this happen?”

The cowboy said, “Oh, about ten minutes ago.”
 
Wayne Kohan said:
Stalemate.
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Ok....it is part of my cultural heritage, but I haven't played chess in decades and did play it badly.

But I forgot that moving a King into check position is an illegal move. Seems odd, but then all my end games ended quickly and badly.

Remind me not to play you in Chess.

Pretty funny joke.
 
509 said:
Ok....it is part of my cultural heritage, but I haven't played chess in decades and did play it badly.

But I forgot that moving a King into check position is an illegal move. Seems odd, but then all my end games ended quickly and badly.

Remind me not to play you in Chess.

Pretty funny joke.
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Obliviously, nevr having played to game I didn't get it.
 
Had my annual health checkup yesterday. The doctor said Do you drink? I said yes. He said what do you drink? I said What do you got?
 
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