NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
In the 80’s it was Boones Farm for the ladies.
While running a Montana country bar many years ago, I caught a guy trying to open the till. When he charged at me, I grabbed a bottle that was close-to-hand and leveled him. As he held a bar rag to his head when the deputies got him to his feet, the guy asked "What did you hit me with?" I replied "Boones Farm . . . Plum Hollow." How appropriate . . .
 
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A conspiracy theorist dies and ascends to heaven. God is there to greet him and explains that as part of the celestial welcome, he will answer any question the man has.

“Please, I must know the answer to this one,” the man says, “who killed John F. Kennedy?” God answers instantly, “That’s easy: Lee Harvey Oswald.” Shocked, the man murmurs, “This goes higher than I had thought!”
 
 
What? No reference to Blue Nun or Mateus Rose?
Well, I’ve had experiences with most mentioned so far. My proudest moment though involved Sloe Gin. At a North Kitsap party I sweet talked a (year older) cheerleader and offered her a ride (in my 58 Volkswagen, yeah, I was a stud!). She accepted and I was certain this was the night. Somewhere between party A and party B, she blew her cookies (likely a 5th of sloe gin) at 50mph (about top speed for a 58 VW with huge snow tires. Call it a PNW “dune buggy”.) Being the gentleman I am I delivered this passed out beauty to her parents door and split like a burglar. So much for cheerleaders. It was a colorful cleanup next day.
 
Sloe Gin. At a North Kitsap party I sweet talked a (year older) cheerleader
Hmmm - Deja vue? Cheerleader, Sloe Gin, '63 Impala, same pre-empted evening plans and technicolor upchuck . . .
 
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