I knew someone who, on the advice of their church, used a spoon to hit their kids, so that their kids wouldn't fear their hand. (True story.)
It might have been funny if it weren't so incredibly unbelievable and sad.
NFR Humor (No political jokes)
- Thread starter Buzzy
- Start date
Non-fishing related
It might have been funny if it weren't so incredibly unbelievable and sad.
DanielOcean
Fart! : )
Jim in Anacortes
Life of the Party
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show to the armadillo that it was easy.
Several years ago, the Seattle Symphony performed Beethoven's Ninth under the baton of Milton Katims.
At this point, you must understand two things:
1. There's a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.
2. There used to be a tavern called Dez's 400, right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather favored by local musicians.
It had been decided that during this performance, after the bass players had played their parts in the opening of the Ninth, they were to quietly lay down their instruments and leave the stage rather than sit on their stools looking and feeling dumb for twenty minutes.
Once they got backstage, someone suggested that they trot across the street and quaff a few brews. After they had downed the first couple of rounds, one said, "Shouldn't we be getting back? It'd be awfully embarrassing if we were late."
Another, presumably the one who suggested this excursion in the first place, replied, "Oh, I anticipated we could use a little more time, so I tied a string around the last pages of the conductor's score. When he gets down there, Milton's going to have to slow the tempo way down while he waves the baton with one hand and fumbles with the string with the other."
So they had another round and finally returned to the Opera House, a little tipsy by now. However, as they came back on stage, one look at their conductor's face told them they were in serious trouble. Katims was furious! And why not? After all...
It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied, and the bases were loaded.
At this point, you must understand two things:
1. There's a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.
2. There used to be a tavern called Dez's 400, right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather favored by local musicians.
It had been decided that during this performance, after the bass players had played their parts in the opening of the Ninth, they were to quietly lay down their instruments and leave the stage rather than sit on their stools looking and feeling dumb for twenty minutes.
Once they got backstage, someone suggested that they trot across the street and quaff a few brews. After they had downed the first couple of rounds, one said, "Shouldn't we be getting back? It'd be awfully embarrassing if we were late."
Another, presumably the one who suggested this excursion in the first place, replied, "Oh, I anticipated we could use a little more time, so I tied a string around the last pages of the conductor's score. When he gets down there, Milton's going to have to slow the tempo way down while he waves the baton with one hand and fumbles with the string with the other."
So they had another round and finally returned to the Opera House, a little tipsy by now. However, as they came back on stage, one look at their conductor's face told them they were in serious trouble. Katims was furious! And why not? After all...
It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied, and the bases were loaded.
wanderingrichard
Life of the Party
I went to my Doctor and he told me to walk 5 miles a day for the rest of the week, and call him at the end of it. So I did. "Doc, I told him, I did what you said and I feel great. But I'm 35 miles from home now ".
SilverFly
Legend
I remember a WFF post from a few years ago that included a link to a radio talk show about a deer crossing sign. The caller was really upset about where the authorities had put the sign, as in: 'Why did they have to put the sign there?'
The show host treated her kindly, assuming that she wasn't being facetious, patiently trying to explain that the sign wasn't meant to instruct the wildlife, but to inform drivers that wildlife customarily crossed in that location. Evidently she couldn't quite grasp that explanation and remained convinced that the crossing should have been somewhere else.
To this day I can't pass one of those signs without hearing her ask: Why did they have to put the sign there?
50s -60s The Ad was: What's the word Thunder Bird What's the price thirty twice