NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
bobduck said:
I not only talk to them, I invite them into my nut bar. What's your pleasure? Goober in the shell please.
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I have a squirrel security system. I have created dozens of hardware cloth lids and barriers. I am a gardener. This morning 6 basil starts had been excavated. There is a battalion roaming from encampments and headquarters after I finish my plantings. The owls have moved away . They got sick of squirrel.
 
Mukman said:
12 years ago today, my friend Dave came running out with tears streaming down his face and cried, “It’s a boy!!”

We never went to Thailand again.
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Had a friend that passed away 3 years ago. He went to Thailand often for about 10 years. He decided I heard that he would move her here about 5 years ago. Not a boy! I think it cost him his life.
 
“Swing both ways, have twice the fun.”
Twelve+ years back at a HS reunion I saw an old friend who’d been in the timber industry. He had run a timber mill in Minnesota and then bought rights to a mill somewhere in Russia. No surprise, as it became a success the government took it over with zero compensation to Paul. But the point is, he brought his Russian bride to the reunion. Imagine all of us at 60 minimum, and this outstanding 25yo platinum blonde hottie. Wow, quite the trophy.
 
Dloy said:
“Swing both ways, have twice the fun.”
Twelve+ years back at a HS reunion I saw an old friend who’d been in the timber industry. He had run a timber mill in Minnesota and then bought rights to a mill somewhere in Russia. No surprise, as it became a success the government took it over with zero compensation to Paul. But the point is, he brought his Russian bride to the reunion. Imagine all of us at 60 minimum, and this outstanding 25yo platinum blonde hottie. Wow, quite the trophy.
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She was expensive… it cost him a mill in dollars. He refused to think about how many rubles.
 
Outstanding!
Not sure how many here have caught this, but atmospheric scientists are just now realizing about these essentially/nearly invisible swirling wind conditions, that VG somehow captured 100 years ago.
 
A woman walked into her kitchen to find her husband quietly creeping around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," he replied.
"Oh, killed any?" she said.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," came the answer.
Intrigued, the wife asked, "How can you tell them apart?"
Husband: "3 were on a beer can , 2 were on the phone.
 
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The other Otters were unaware that option was available to them evidently...
;)
 
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