NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man opened his door to find two grim faced Alaska State Troopers.

'We're sorry Mr. Wilkins, but we have some information about your wife' said one Trooper.

'Tell me, did you find her!?' Wilkins shouted.

The Troopers looked at each other.

'We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news.' said one Trooper, 'Which do you want to hear first?'

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkins said, 'Give me the bad news first.'

The Trooper said, 'I'm sorry to tell you, this morning we found your wife's body in Katchamac Bay.'

'Oh my god! said Wilkins. Swallowing hard, he asked, 'What's the good news'?

The Trooper continued, 'When we pulled her up, she had twelve huge Red King crab and a few nice Dungeness clinging to her, and we feel you are entitled to a share of the catch.'

Stunned, Mr. Wilkins demanded, 'If that's the good news, what's the really great news?'

The Trooper said, 'We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!'
 
A recently divorced man rubbed a lantern and a genie appeared. "You have three wishes" said the genie. The man blurted out "I wish there was no such thing as a lawyer". The genie said "goodbye". The man said "But what about my other two wishes?" The genie said "Sue me".
 
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Lawyer jokes!

Whats wrong with 1000 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand!

What's the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead snake?
There's skid marks in front of the snake..

Why do lawyers wear neck ties?
To keep the foreskin from going up over their head!

Present lawyers on this site excluded! 😆
 
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