NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
^^^ Says not for people under 12. Shouldn't that be 21 due to EB ?
 
Brian Miller said:
My dog loves being vacuumed with the upholstery attachment
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Jeane and I were just discussing the difference between dogs and cats. My cat crapped on my pajamas on the floor. We are closely attached. My dogs i last had understood guilt. I may be getting out the vaccuum when Betty’s possessiveness of her favorite human strikes her. It is the most horrific thing I could do. I will try to work the conditioned response trick. Maybe she’ll crap on Jeannes side of the bed? But then I hope she doesn’t cuz I love my Old Betty cat. I have been well trained.
 
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I don’t hate cats, but have only really liked 2 or 3. One, in the apt next door, ate some acid and sat on top of the refrigerator for 3 days. After that he was the mellowest cat, but I wondered what he saw below, probably terrified.
 
Ditto here. I like them, and dislike them for the same reason. Dogs need and want you, cats not so much.
 
Dloy said:
Ditto here. I like them, and dislike them for the same reason. Dogs need and want you, cats not so much.
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You don't have to walk a cat. They have 9 lives. Their food bags do not weigh 40 lbs. dogs roll in disgusting things and share them. Cats catch things and share them that are still alive which can also be a problem depending on the stage they choose to present them. The cats I have had are better watch cats than the 10 or so dogs I have had. Dogs bark. my watch cat fluffs up and hisses.
 
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Capt Insano Emeritis said:
You don't have to walk a cat. They have 9 lives. Their food bags do not weigh 40 lbs. dogs roll in disgusting things and share them. Cats catch things and share them that are still alive which can also be a problem depending on the stage they choose to present them. The cats I have had are better watch cats than the 10 or so dogs I have had. Dogs bark. my watch cat fluffs up and hisses.
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Meow wait a second. My cat kneeds me and gives me acupuncture at the same time
 
I used to have 100 pound Great Pyrenees pup who was happy to see me everyday, and sometimes attempted to sleep on our bed with us because she couldn’t bear to be too far away from us. She let our babies tug on her and later, ride her like a pony.

For those of you with cats, I’m almost certain that if your cat was 100 pounds, they would attack and kill you in your sleep and drag you into the back yard and stuff you in their lair to enjoy at their leisure. Such is the depth of love of cats toward their owners.
 
"For those of you with cats, I’m almost certain that if your cat was 100 pounds, they would attack and kill you in your sleep and drag you into the back yard and stuff you in their lair to enjoy at their leisure. Such is the depth of love of cats toward their owners." Loved this !

Our last cat didn't approve of me being in my house, She seemed to roll her eyes, give a "phhtt", and walk away in disgust whenever I came home from working to support it...like having teenager that never leaves.
Dogs are bottomless pits of need that have owners...cats could give rat's a** if you live or die, except at mealtime, and have staff.
....But they're both worth it.
 
Cats have their place, mostly in the barn. Many are psycho/schizophrenic, but a few have been enjoyable. However, because we’re dog people we have dozens of birds and hummers to watch at any given time. Of the 400 homes in our community there are maybe 10 cats, vs easily 100+ dogs. I like walking with the dogs. It’s often my exercise for the day.
 
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