NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
A bug was crawling through the grass in a pasture. A cow feeding on the grass inadvertently swallowed the bug. At first a little annoyed, the bug soon realized how warm and nice and soft and comfy it was and while enjoying this soon fell asleep. Later when he woke up, the cow was gone.
 
A small bird lands on a barbed-wire fence when a sudden cold snap freezes him to the wire. After several tense moments, a sharp wind blows him off into a fresh cowpie, the warmth revives him and blessed with his good luck, begins to sing. To his misfortune, a passing coyote hears his song, snatches him up and eats him.
Now there are three morals to this story:
1. It is not necessarily bad to fall into shit.
2. It is not necessarily good to be pulled out of shit.
3. And whatever you do, if you're up to your neck in shit, don't sing.
 
Some jokes give us wisdom. Here's one I have used for decades regarding fishing. A cop walks up to a drunk late at night on the street. The cop say's "What are you looking for?" The drunk says "My house keys". The cop says "OK I'll help . Where did you lose them?" The drunk says "Over there across the street". The cop asked "Then why are you looking for them here?" The drunk calmly states "because the light is better over here"........Many times I have known where the fish are, but I choose an easier spot... because "the light is better". Commercial fisherman ponder these things.
 
BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE, OR WHAT?
I experienced the WORST customer service today at a store in our town. I don’t want to mention the name of the store because I’m not sure how to proceed.

Yesterday, I bought something from the store. I paid cash for it. I took it home and found out that it didn’t work. So this morning I took it back to the store and asked if I could get a refund. The girl in the store told me “NO” even though I still had the receipt. I asked if I could get a replacement instead then. Again, she told me “NO”.

I asked to talk to a manager as I was really not happy. I explained that I had just bought the item, and had got it home and it didn’t work. The manager just smiled and told me to my face that I was OUT OF LUCK! No refund. No free replacement.

I’ll tell you what…I am never buying another Mega Millions lottery ticket there again.
 
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