NFR Humor (No political jokes)
- Thread starter Buzzy
- Start date
Non-fishing related
Jim in Anacortes
Life of the Party
Two guys are sitting at the bar drinking whiskey. One of the guys says "See those two old foggies over there? That could be us someday". The other guy says "You dumbass, that's a mirror."
wetline dave
Steelhead
OK so what is the humor and who really cares about Budweiser"?
If I feel like a beer Bud is my absolutely last choice and then I might just pass.
Dave
If I feel like a beer Bud is my absolutely last choice and then I might just pass.
Dave
A woman comes home after her annual medical to meet her husband. “How’d it go he asked’” and she replied “great, all good on all fronts, in fact Dr Smith said I had the breasts of a 25 year old…” He then said “Well what about your 50 yr old arse?”
She replied ”Oh, we didn’t talk about you”
She replied ”Oh, we didn’t talk about you”
Divad
Whitefish
Dave, maybe fortunate for you this joke has soared up, up and away. I’m not one to outwardly self boast but it is fairly humorous with the collision of current events and Memorial Day.
wetline dave
Steelhead
Divad do you understand what memorial day represents?
DaVE
DaVE
Divad
Whitefish
I do, hens why I used the word “collision”. To be honest you seem very aggressive right now especially for a humor thread, please take it lightly.
Capt Insano Emeritis
Legend
A Texan rides into a town new to him, hitches up his horse, and goes into the local cantina for a beer to wash-down the trail dust.
After a few, he goes back outside… and his horse is gone.
Knowing that a few of the cantina patrons had left and returned after a few minutes, he pushed open the double doors of the saloon, pulled out both of his Colt revolvers, and fired a shot from both into the ceiling, making a single hole.
He turned silently and looked at the hombres in the cantina, sweeping the room with his guns. “I’m going back to the bar and have another beer: when I’m done, I expect my horse to be tied up outside… DON’T make me do what happened last time in Tombstone.”
Holstering his guns, he went back to the bar and had another beer; when finished, he walked to the entrance of the saloon — both guns drawn — and looked outside.
His horse was tied up at the hitchin’ rail.
He went back to the bar, looking around the room… growled for effect, and holstered both weapons.
The bartended handed him another beer, and — very frightened — leaned over to the cowboy and whispered “What h-h-happened in Tombstone, s-s-sir?”
“I had to walk home.”
After a few, he goes back outside… and his horse is gone.
Knowing that a few of the cantina patrons had left and returned after a few minutes, he pushed open the double doors of the saloon, pulled out both of his Colt revolvers, and fired a shot from both into the ceiling, making a single hole.
He turned silently and looked at the hombres in the cantina, sweeping the room with his guns. “I’m going back to the bar and have another beer: when I’m done, I expect my horse to be tied up outside… DON’T make me do what happened last time in Tombstone.”
Holstering his guns, he went back to the bar and had another beer; when finished, he walked to the entrance of the saloon — both guns drawn — and looked outside.
His horse was tied up at the hitchin’ rail.
He went back to the bar, looking around the room… growled for effect, and holstered both weapons.
The bartended handed him another beer, and — very frightened — leaned over to the cowboy and whispered “What h-h-happened in Tombstone, s-s-sir?”
“I had to walk home.”
A Texan rides up and ties his horse to the hitching post, walks to the rear, lifts its tail, runs his finger around the ass and wipes it on his lips. A guy watching him asks “why did you do that?” He responds “I have chapped lips.” “So horse poop cures chapped lips?” “No, I don’t think so, but it keeps me from licking them.”
Jim in Anacortes
Life of the Party
The elderly wife was looking into the mirror and said "Honey, my skin is all flabby, my face is full of wrinkles, my hair is thin and gray and I'm terribly overweight. Can you say something to make me feel better about myself?" The husband response was "Well, Dear, you still have perfect eyesight".
A drunk wanders into a bar in Texan and sits down next to a man dressed in chaps, spurs, bandana, etc. Asking the man if he's a cowboy, he hears a 'yup' in return. The drunk ponders this for a moment and says 'Cowboys are sick! You all like to screw sheep, horses, cows and chickens! '
The cowboy says 'Chickens?'
The cowboy says 'Chickens?'
Capt Insano Emeritis
Legend
