@speedbird
Good, you're prudent and thinking, and you should be.
Also look for a copy of Massad Ayoobs "In The Gravest Extreme". It should be required reading for everyone and anyone considering firearms ownership. He can also be found online in several places.
Most people would be served well with a 4 inch barreled .357 revolver for its general purpose usefulness. You can load it with everything from very soft shooting .38 wadcutters designed for target/,bullseye shooting, up to 165 or 180 grain full power .357's designed for hunting. Trust me, that is a very large range of capabilities in just one gun.
I still don't get the "Don't buy a gun with an external safety" line that's suddenly been sweeping the firearms community. Again. I think its one of the " Bubba sez" myths that proliferate in certain circles and just won't die.
Owning pistols with and without external safeties, and also many revolvers, it all comes down to practice. Same thing with a rifle or shotgun.
Whatever you decide on, spend 30 minutes a week in front of a large mirror with your gun of choice in the good holster you bought for it, and just practice. (dry fire) Draw, aim, wipe off the safety (or not, depending), click. Repeat. 10 minutes 3 times a week. In 2 months it's ingrained muscle memory. That eliminates the anti external safety myths.
As you found out its law here in WA to have your firearm in a locked container in the home unless it's on you for whatever reason. There are many good, reliable options available ranging from full blown 1000 lb safes capable of holding a plethora of firearms plus your other valuables, down to units that hold 1 or 2 pistols or revolvers that fit securely into the drawer of a nightstand. Again, as the ancient paladin in the Indiana Jones movie said, "choose wisely"
As you can see this is a huge, wide ranging subject, with varied opinions. Don't rush, take your time. And do not ever be afraid to ask for help from more experienced people.
Edit; forgot to mention those wonderful things called Snap Caps. Spring loaded substitutes for actual ammo during dry fire and function checks designed to protect your guns firing pin.