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A Yank went to Ireland to see the old country, and was chatting in a small town pub with Farley the barkeep. Knowing that the Yank was interested in local history, he started to expound. 'D'ye see that church over there? That was built by O'Reilly. O'Reilly the church builder they called him...

A man wanders into a cathouse looking for action. The madam tells him that the place is almost booked up, and they've got more ladies than open rooms. Not to worry though, they can use the roof. This seems to suit the gentleman, and so off they go. In the throes of passion they misstep and fall...

A lady goes into a butcher shop and says to the butcher: Butcher! Gimme a chicken, and make sure it's clean! The butcher hands the lady a chicken on a piece of waxed paper. She sniffs under the legs; she sniffs under the wings; she sniffs the cavity; she sniffs the neck end. Finally she looks...

How long do you typically have to walk to find such small blue lines?

Before I started wearing Korkers, I wore Orvis wading boots exclusively. Since they tend to run narrow while my feet are wide, I needed to wear Size 11, rather than my normal size of 8-1/2, which gave me 'clown feet'. Not really knowing the limits of my feet in those longer boots, I stepped on...

Do you have a problem with cows lying down? Its only ground beef!

I want to go to there!

The anchor that I use with my 'toon on lakes was made from several 5-Lb barbell weights purchased at my local Goodwill. I threaded them with an eye bolt and tied on a section of inexpensive braided line. Voila - a usable anchor for less than $10.

Your call is important to us, but not nearly so important that we actually have people standing by to talk with you...

When I was 17 and in college in NY State the drinking age was 18 and the liquor stores delivered. After coming all the way to campus they weren't interested in IDs. I hosted a tequila sunrise party, which was my first real hard-core drunk, and the only time I ever had the chair spins. The...

I remember a WFF post from a few years ago that included a link to a radio talk show about a deer crossing sign. The caller was really upset about where the authorities had put the sign, as in: 'Why did they have to put the sign there?' The show host treated her kindly, assuming that she...

I knew someone who, on the advice of their church, used a spoon to hit their kids, so that their kids wouldn't fear their hand. (True story.) It might have been funny if it weren't so incredibly unbelievable and sad.

That reminds me of a tee shirt that my mother had that read: I'm secretly correcting your grammar. I put that right up there with using the word literally incorrectly. It makes my mind literally explode. No, wait...

There are generally only two ropes on a boat: the bell rope (as stated) and the bolt rope, which runs up the leading edge of a sail and fits into the track int he mast. Just sayin...

Nope. Nothing at all in Oregon as a whole. Sorry.

As it is said around here: the Gorge is my gym! I do know that exercise saved my life, figuratively, and probably literally, although there's no real way to know that. I've been recuperating from meniscus surgery for the past few months and haven't been able to ride my bike (stationary or...

I met up with a friend and noticed that he had two black eyes. Naturally my curiosity got the better of me, so I asked him what had happened. He said that he was in the supermarket checkout line behind a rather large woman whose dress was tucked in between her butt cheeks. Thinking that he'd do...

Nice stripah!

I did that float last year and with the exception of some windy conditions there was plenty of water to move us.

We got together to plan and watch some YouTube videos of this float. Then (separately) we came to the conclusion that the flows were too low and we'd end up with a 40-mile drag across shallow water. I think the flow at Monument needs to be above 2000 CFS for the N Fork to have enough water in it...