NFR Humor (No political jokes)

[Bakerite]

State Trooper told me when the speed limit is decreasing you need to be at the limit when you hit the sign. When the speed limit is increasing you can do the limit as soon as you can read the sign.

Driving with a lawyer friend, he said this too!

 

[Mukman]

My email password got hacked AGAIN!

That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

 

[Buzzy]

 

[Zak]

View attachment 104367

 

[Mukman]

Scientists have grown human vocal cords from stem cells in the lab.

The results speak for themselves.

 

[Herkileez]

 

[Shawn Seeger]

 

[Buzzy]

 

[joefromchicago]

M. Hedburg:

"I used to do drugs...

I still do, but I used to, too."

 

[mark wlker]

I told my psychiatrist I had an imaginary girlfriend.
He said "You can do better".
I replied I didn't think so.
He said he was talking to her.....

 

[Mukman]

A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting.

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

 

[up2nogood]

View attachment 104561

 

[Mukman]

If a group of dolphins is called a pod, and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying.

 

[Mukman]

Penguins secrete an oil that helps their feathers retain heat.

So, the oily bird gets the warm.

 

[Matt B]

 

[joefromchicago]

Warning: Alligator mating season!


If attacked,

Fake orgasm.

 

[Mukman]

I asked my wife if the cup is half full or half empty.

She said, “For the last time, stop wearing my bras.”

 

[DanielOcean]

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[Mukman]

I lost two fingers on my right hand. I asked my doctor if I would still be able to write with it.

He said, “Maybe, but don’t count on it.”