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Clown to the left of me…. Joker to the right. Here I am stuck in the middle with you…

Chuck CAN believe it's not butter. He created the giraffe by upercutting a horse. He has a bearskin rug in his living room. It's still alive, just too afraid to move. He was the world's largest blood donor...but none of it was his. When his daughter lost her virginity, he got it back. Jesus...

We had one down south here last weekend near Woodland. Blocked all lanes on NB I-5 for several hours.

I broke up with a girl and she said "But I gave you evrything that I had." I said "I know and now I'm on seven different antibiotics."

Chuck could impregnate a woman by pointing at her uterus and yelling "BOO YAHHH". He could also pop a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck was orphaned at the tender age of 12. He was sent to live in a convent in the south of France. His first week there, he impregnated every nun in the place. The resulting offspring became the 1972/73 Miami Dolphins - The only NFL team to ever play a perfect season.

Well....alright. Since the ice is broken... Chuck Norris was in all of the Star Wars movies. He was The Force. Most men pee their names into the snow. Chuck peed his into concrete. Chuck could kill two stones with one bird. Chuck once killed 10 people with a hand grenade. He killed 20 more...

RIP. ....Probably too soon for a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes.... although, it has been said that he got a kick (pun intended) out of those jokes.

The scary thing about this is that they tried to get it on the ballot a few years ago and didn't get enough signatures. Looks like they did this time. As ridiculous as this initiative is, it seems to be gaining at least some traction. Never underestimate the stupidity of voters. For a lot of...

These kids are all siblings. Amazing talent all around.

I think that's his cousin Furious George.

I'm really excited to meet you all in person. I know Evan and Bill. Jerry D is like a brother to me. I don't think I've ever met anyone else. Stoked for good times and fellowship. That said, as far as food goes, I can fill any holes. I'm a decent camp chef too. I'm planning on giving Jerry all...

I'm up to date with The Madison now (3 episodes). Great show.

How many beans does it take to make Irish chili? 239. One more would make it too farty and nine less would make it too turdy.

Mrs O'Grady is sitting at home watching TV one evening when she hears a knock at the door. She walks to the door, opens it, and sees her husband's best friend standing there alone. "Seamus", she says. "Where's me husband? You two went on a tour to the Guinness Brewery." Seamus replies, "Aye...

Seamus & Sean are walking home from the pub. Both of them are unemployed so they keep an eye out for any job leads. They pass by a sign that reads "Tree Fellers Wanted". Seamus lets out a groan and says, "'Tis a shame. There's only two of us."

I’ve been watching Marshals and the new season of Outlander. Both excellent thus far. Need to check out Madison.