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One in five people in the world are Chinese. There are five people in my family, so one of them must be Chinese. It could be mom or dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho Chan Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

Doctor comes in to the exam room and sits down with his very elderly male patient. The doc sighs and says, “Well, after all the battery of tests we’ve run, I’ve got two separate diagnoses, and neither of them are good news.” Guy says, “What’s the first one?” Doc says, “You have cancer” After...

Guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a cool trick, can I have a free drink?” Bartender says, “If the trick is cool enough, sure.” Guy reaches into his coat pocket, and pulls out a tiny rat and a tiny piano. The rat stretches his arms, and starts playing rocking rhythm and...

Deep thought of the day: When you clean out your vacuum cleaner, You are a vacuum cleaner.

In Greek mythology, Chiron was half horse and half human doctor. This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.

Just read that a guy is suing Smart Water because it didn’t make him smarter. I am preparing my case against Thin Mints.

Rick, As you have no doubt surmised, the subject of steelhead fishing in Western WA (or all of WA for that matter) raises high emotions on this forum. Emotions are: anger, frustration, resignation, but ultimately sorrow. If you have taken the time to read the posts to your rather...

One way to find out if you’re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you’re young. If they panic, you’re old.

A guy goes into a bar and orders 12 shots of whiskey, and starts drinking them fast, one after another. The bartender says, “Whoa, why so fast?” The guy says, “You’d drink fast too if you had what I have!” Bartender asks, “What have you got?” Guys says, “Seventy five cents!”

Marriage is knowing that when your wife wants to hear your opinion, she really just wants to hear her opinion in a deeper voice.

Fun fact: Koi fish always travel in groups of four. If attacked, the A, B, and C koi will scatter, only leaving the D koi.

My wife and I are sitting on the couch watching TV and I hear a text, realizing I left my phone in the kitchen, I get up, go to the kitchen to check it... and it's a text from my wife:”Please bring the chips on your way back"

I’m so close to being a billionaire. I have all the zeroes; I just need the one.

I like using big words that I don’t fully understand. It makes me feel photosynthesis.

I’m never going bungee jumping. I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I’m not going out because of one.

Remember when you referred to your knees as “left” and “right” instead of “bad” and “less bad”? Good times.

I have the paper towel habits of a much wealthier person.

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and feel happy that you are alive? I just did, and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again.....

Thanks!

I am new to the details, can someone please provide the decoder ring for “A”, “B”, “C” and “D”? Couldn’t figure it out contextually in the thread. Thanks.