NFR Humor

Non-fishing related
I come from a family of jokers. Last week was my birthday and my mother gave me a $200 gift card for this restaurant that we really like up in bellevue. She says this should cover dinner and wine and I will have to cover the tip etc.
I said yes Mom and thank you very much.
So my wife and I go to the restaurant have a nice meal, bottle of wine etc. The Bill's about 280 something .I give the gift card and some cash to the waiter and he takes off and comes back few minutes later saying that the gift card was invalid and there's nothing on it. I explained it must be a mistake my mother purchased it from you last week.... yada yada yada he says I'm sorry there's nothing on the gift card. So I pay for the meal and my wife and I leave. We're driving home and I call my mother to let her know the gift card came through invalid, there wasn't 200 bucks on it. She starts laughing and I knew right then the joke was on me. My wife was in on it too.
My mother's 84 years old and she still pulls pranks on her kids.
 
When I was fishing at the river park a few years ago, a guy had one of those fart machines that had a remote control. He was really going to town teasing all the people that were fishing. I happened to be at Spencer's in Clackamas Town Center and bought the identical item. Sure had fun with the guy who had the "other" fart machine. He just could not figure out where those farts were coming from.
 
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “Do you want a beer?”
The horse thinks a moment and says “I think not”, and poof, he disappears.

Now admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with with French Enlightenment philosopher Rene Descartes, who famously said “I think, therefore I am.” The horse thought not, and therefore wasn’t…. but if I explained that first we’d be putting Descartes before the horse.
 
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “Do you want a beer?”
The horse thinks a moment and says “I think not”, and poof, he disappears.

Now admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with with French Enlightenment philosopher Rene Descartes, who famously said “I think, therefore I am.” The horse thought not, and therefore wasn’t…. but if I explained that first we’d be putting Descartes before the horse.
Go to your room and don't come out until you're ready to say you're sorry!
 
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “Do you want a beer?”
The horse thinks a moment and says “I think not”, and poof, he disappears.

Now admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with with French Enlightenment philosopher Rene Descartes, who famously said “I think, therefore I am.” The horse thought not, and therefore wasn’t…. but if I explained that first we’d be putting Descartes before the horse.
Guy walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender looks up and says: Hey - no dogs allowed!

The guy responds: This is a talking dog.

The bartender rolls his eyes and says: Prove it.

The guy asks the dog: What's on top of a house? The dog says: Roof. The guys says: who's the best baseball player ever? The dog says: Ruth.

The barkeep says: That's it. Out!

On their way out, the dog looks up at the guy and says: DiMaggio?
 
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