NFR Humor (No political jokes)

Non-fishing related
True Story , good friend ,and fishing buddy ,now in his late 80's told me this story .

Had my annual checkup today , the doctor came back in ,and said I have good news , and bad news . Well let me hear the good news first , doctor says you are going to live into your nineties . Well what is the bad news , the doctor says you are going to live into your nineties .
 
My son in law was out for trick or treats when he was about six. His shoes came untied and his dad made him stop so he could tie them back up for him. It took a little longer than usual; the laces were tangled up in knots not just untied. The distraught kiddo realizing that his friends were scoring more treats than him cried out: "Huury up Dad. Time is candy!!"
 
A man kills a deer and
brings it home for dinner.
He and his wife decide they
won't tell the kids what they
are eating but Dad gives them a clue.
"It's what your Mommy calls me"
The little girl gets a shocked look on
her face and screams to her brother,
"Don't eat it, it's an asshole"
 
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